


Spark

by KayleeRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: F/M, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:17:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleeRen/pseuds/KayleeRen
Summary: Force user Elly once trained beside her best friend Ben Solo, until he made a decision that would change both of their lives. After the slaughter of the new Jedi Order, Elly goes into hiding. She joins the Resistance, changes her name, and stops using the force so Kylo Ren will continue to believe she is dead.A few years passed and she meets Commander Poe Dameron....and her life changed again...but this time for the better.Goes through The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi.





	1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 

“Please, Master Skywalker,” I begged him. “Please, don’t leave me.”

 

“I’m sorry. Truly, I am,” he said with a heavy sigh. “But I can’t stay here. I…I have to go.”

 

“But where?” I asked, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Where are you going? Why can’t I come with you?

 

“I’m sorry Elly, I need to be alone. I can’t train anyone anymore…and I can’t tell you where I’m going because I still don’t know where the original Jedi Temple is,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I promise, you’ll be safe here. My sister will look after you. Just remember what I taught you. He won’t find you if you keep yourself hidden.”

 

“I will, Master. I promise,” I said in a whisper.

 

“I’m not your Master Elly… not anymore,” he said in a defeated voice.

 

I could no longer keep the tears from falling. All the pain and sorrow and loss seemed to hit me at once. I sobbed quietly into the old man’s robes.

Skywalker sighed again and embraced me.

 

“Now, now,” he said soothingly. “No need to cry over this old man. I’ve taught you everything you need to know. You’re strong. You’ll be alright. I’ll see you again someday. I’m sure of it.”

 

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and gave me an encouraging grin. He turned and walked over to the ramp on his ship. Just before he boarded, he turned.

 

“May the force be with you, Elly,” he said softly.

 

“And with you, Ma…Luke,” I said through the tears.

 

He grinned again, a broken bitter smile, before turning and boarding his ship. A few minutes later and he was off into the night and I lost the only father figure I had ever known.


	2. Defect

**Defect**

 

“Red 4, you got two on your back!” I shouted into the communicator.

 

“I can’t shake em!” he shouted back.

 

I pulled up on the stickshift with a quick jerky movement. I too had 3 of them on my tail, but I had to protect my crewmate.

 

“Hang on I’m coming!” I called to him.

 

“They’re on you too!” he cried.

  
“Not for long!” I yelled with a grin.

 

I swerved so suddenly, it caused two of the TIEs on my ass to plunge straight into an asteroid in front of them.

 

“Woo!” I yelled.

 

Just the one left. He managed to dodge the asteroid but he couldn’t bank fast enough. I came up behind him and shot my blasters into the TIE causing it to explode in a shower of fire.

 

“Comin’ for you Red 4!” I called, veering my ship towards him.

 

“They’re locking onto me!” he cried in fear.

 

“I see em!” I said.

 

I managed to blow one of them up, but the other caught sight of me and swerved, causing my blasters to miss. He shot towards Red 4 quicker than I could stop him and time suddenly slowed down. I watched in slow motion as the TIEs blasters inched towards my crewmate, locked dead on to hit their target. I couldn’t let him die. He was counting on me. I was his Captain.

 

I did it without even thinking. I reached out with the Force towards the blasters, reversing their trajectory and sending them back at the TIE.

 

The TIE exploded immediately.

 

“YES! NICE SHOT CAPTAIN!” Red 4 cheered.

 

He believed I had shot the TIE down. He didn’t see what happened. Thank goodness.

 

“Alright guys,” I said over the comm. “That was the last of them. Good work! Let’s head home.”

 

We all jumped into light speed, towards D’Qar, the planet our base was on. I frowned to myself, knowing I was about to hear an earful from the General. But the mission was a success and there were no casualties on our side. You can’t argue with those kind of results.

 

Soon enough the planet came into view, a swirling mass of greenery. We landed in the hangar and disembarked. I removed my helmet and left it in the cockpit.

 

I recognized a familiar golden droid waiting on me as I exited my X-wing.

 

“Hey 3PO,” I said as I climbed off the ship.

 

“Good evening, Captain Rayne. The General wishes to see you in the communications chamber as soon as possible please,” he said in his polite voice.

 

“Of course she does,” I said with a sigh. “Alright I’m on my way.”

 

Without waiting for his reply, I headed off towards the center of the base. It was the warm season on D’Qar and sweat started to trail down my neck. I unzipped my orange jumpsuit as I walked and wrapped the top half around my waist. I had a black tank top on underneath it.

 

I knew I was in for some chewing out from her, so I took a deep breath before I entered the Communications room.

 

I expected her to be alone when I entered the room, so I was surprised to see her speaking with a man I had never seen before. They both looked up when I walked in.

 

“Ah. Captain. There you are. How was your mission?” General Organa asked.

 

“A complete success, General,” I replied, my eyes darting to the man beside her. “We defended the freighter and the cargo from the First Order. We had no casualties on our side and the shipment was successfully delivered to Tralke.”

 

“Excellent as always Captain,” she replied, but the look in her eyes said she would have words with me later about what I had done. “The reason I called you here was to introduce you to Commander Poe Dameron,” she said gesturing towards the man beside her. “Commander, this is my best Captain. Captain Laera Rayne.”

 

“Nice to finally meet you,” he said stretching out a hand.

 

I took it and looked him in the eye as I shook his hand, trying to get a feel for him. He was handsome; there was no doubt about that. Deep brown eyes set in a chiseled face, thick black hair that softly curled into an almost boyish way, tan smooth skin, a stocky muscular frame… yes every girl on this base would be swooning over him very shortly. But I wasn’t interested in that. I was searching for what kind of man he was. I felt self confidence radiate off him. Maybe even arrogance. Sadness….he had recently lost someone close to him. He had a strong sense of determination. He was the kind of person who set a goal and did everything in his power to achieve that goal, no matter what. Underneath all that I felt kindness, pure in essence. He was generally a kind hearted person.

 

“Commander,” I said with a polite smile. “I heard you were joining us. Welcome to the Resistance. I must say your reputation is quite impressive.”

 

“Not nearly as impressive as yours,” he said flashing me a perfect smile. “Your record here is astounding.”

 

“Hopefully the General hasn’t shown you everything in my record,” I joked. “I’m sure there are a few black marks in there.”

 

“Don’t worry Laera,” Leia said, flashing me a grin. “I only showed him the good parts. Now I was wondering if you would mind spending tomorrow showing the Commander around the base? Help him get familiarized with the way things are run around here?”

 

“I’d be happy to,” I said at once. At least it would keep me from repair duty.

 

“I appreciate it,” Dameron said with a grin. “I’ll meet you tomorrow morning then Captain Rayne. I’ll leave you two alone so you can get debriefed. Good evening General, Captain.”

 

He waved and left the room.

 

“So what did you think of him?” Leia asked, knowing I had used the Force to get a read on him.

 

“He’s a good man, a bit self confidant, but from what I could feel he’s got a good heart. He’s sad though. He lost someone recently,” I said looking towards where he had just been.

 

“Yes, that would be his friend and his crew member Murran,” Leia said with a sigh. “The First Order killed him in the battle for the Mirrin Sector. That’s partially why Dameron and 2 of his friends defected to the Resistance. The Republic refused to do anything about it.”

 

“Typical of them, to not take action,” I replied rolling my eyes. “That’s one hell of a gain for our side though. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d heard about Dameron. If half the stories are true, then he’s one hell of a pilot.”

 

“He is and I’m glad he’s on our side. He’s a bit rash, but he’s passionate…and frankly that’s something we desperately need. But you’ll be able to get to know him tomorrow,” she said turning a stern look towards me. “Now we need to talk about what you did out there at Tralke.”

 

“I was hoping you wouldn’t feel that,” I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.

 

“I may not have received any formal training in the Force, but I know when you use it. I can always feel it, Elly. You know it is damned foolish of you to use it out in the open, especially in front of members of the First Order! What were you thinking!?”

 

“Vex was about to get hit, I couldn’t just let him die,” I argued. “Besides we destroyed all the TIEs and none of my crew realized what I did.”

 

“That’s not the point,” she huffed. “You keep doing that and he is bound to feel your presence.”

 

“I know how to hide myself Leia,” I said sternly. “He hasn’t found me for the last 4 years. Besides I can’t just cut myself off from the Force. That would be like cutting off my left arm.”

 

“I will not have your death at the hands of my son, Elly,” she said, her voice breaking a bit. “Not you…. He’s killed so many. I couldn’t bear it if he destroyed you too.”

 

Silence rang throughout the room for a few moments. I sighed, but embraced the older woman in front of me.

 

“Alright, it was foolish of me to use the Force to save Vex. I’m sorry. I just…I couldn’t let him die while there was something I could do to save him. I’ll be more careful in the future, I promise.”

 

“You better,” Leia said patting me on the back. She pulled away and gave me a serious look. “I’d hate to have to ground you.”


	3. Beautiful

**Beautiful**

 

The next morning I rose early and showered off. I figured since I wasn’t doing any flying today I could just wear casual clothes, so I dressed in a simple pair of black pants and a grey tank top. My wardrobe was seriously lacking in colors, but it was hard to get decent clothes out here on D’Qar.

I left my room in search of Dameron. I figured he didn’t know his way around yet and would be in search of the mess hall so I went that direction. As I had predicted, it was another warm day.

 

“Captain Rayne,” a voice called to me. I turned and saw it was Dameron.

  
“Good morning Commander. I was just on my way to come find you,” I said.

 

“Looks like I found you first,” he said flashing me a smile. “And please, call me Poe.”

 

“Only if you do the same,” I said.

 

“You want me to call you Poe?” he asked with a chuckle.

 

“Laera please,” I said with a laugh. “Now how about some breakfast?”

 

Poe agreed and I lead him towards the mess hall. We made small talk about the weather on D’Qar and the people around the base as we walked. Once we were inside the mess hall I told him when meals were served, where the kitchen was, and how to get his food. We both got our trays and sat down at an empty table. It was still early, so the mess hall wasn’t completely filled.

 

“So how long have you been in the Resistance?” Poe asked as we ate our food.

 

“About 4 years,” I said.

 

“You must have been a teenager when you joined,” Poe said in shock.

 

“I thank you for the complement, but I’m older than I look. I’m 26, actually,” I said with a smile.

 

“Wow, I would have never guessed,” he said.

 

“You must be an excellent flier, to be so young with your credentials,” I said. “When did you join the New Republic Starfleet?”

 

“I was 20 when I joined,” he replied. “I left Yavin 4 in hopes of following my mothers footsteps. She served in the Alliance to Restore the Republic.”

 

“I’m sure she’s very proud of you,” I said kindly.

 

“I’d like to think so. She died when I was 8,” he said.

“I’m so sorry,” I replied softly.

 

“No worries,” he said waving me off. “Where are you from?”

 

“Crexal,” I replied shortly. “I’ll show you the rest of the base if you’re finished.”

 

“Oh….yeah I’m done,” he said getting up.

 

 

**Poe’s POV**

 

By the way she had cut our pleasant conversation off, I guess I had said something offensive. I followed the shorter woman out of the mess hall and around the base. She explained where the medic bay was,, the workshop, and the armory. I listened to her as she spoke, occasionally inserting a joke here and there. Her smile was alluring. She wasn’t bad to look at either. She had long dark hair, tied back in the heat. Her skin was smooth and pale, with a slight splattering of freckles on her shoulders. Her eyes were a bright green, her lips looked soft and full. She was beautiful, but she didn’t act as if she knew it.

 

We came to the hangar and she began showing me the X wings, when suddenly she stopped short.

 

“THAT was not here yesterday,” she said in awe, staring up at my ship.

 

“That’s mine actually,” I said with a smile.

 

A familiar beeping reached my ears and I knelt down to greet my droid.

 

“There you are buddy!” I called patting him on his dome head. “BB-8, Meet Captain Laera Rayne.”

 

He beeped up at her excitedly.

 

“Well thank you BB-8,” Laera chuckled, kneeling down to pat the droid as well. “I think you’re pretty cute too!”

 

BB-8 whirled appreciatively.

 

“You speak binary?” I asked surprised.

 

“Yeah, I picked it up when I was younger. I worked around droids all day, so I learned it pretty quickly.”

 

“Guess you better watch what you say around this lady, right buddy?” I told the droid.

He beeped his reply and I rolled my eyes.

  
“I do not have a foul mouth,” I argued.

 

Laera laughed, then stood and stared at the X-wing appreciatively.

 

“She’s a T-70 right?” she asked.

 

“Yep. I modified her up myself,” I said proudly, patting the ship’s belly.

 

“She’s gorgeous,” she said in awe. “4 KX-12 laser canons?! I’m jealous. My T-65B only has the two….wait a minute. Isn’t this a Republic starfighter?”

 

“Ah, yeah…” I said running a hand through my hair. “I sort of forgot to return my ship to the Republic Starfleet.”

 

She turned to look at me as a slow smile spread across her face.

 

“I think you and I are going to get along just fine,” she said.

 

Somehow, I knew she was right.


	4. Yield

**Yield**

 

_I watched as the two boys sparred in the center of the room. The oldest was 19, and built large. The other was 12, and he was at least a foot shorter than his opponent. The bigger boy, Mel, shot his sparring staff down, clipping the younger boy on the shoulder._

_“One bottle of Corillian wine on Mel,” Ben whispered from beside me._

_“You’re on,” I replied with a grin. “Mel is big, but Semel is faster.”_

_“Guess we’ll see,” Ben said with a cocky smile._

_We watched as Mel swung his staff towards Sam’s head, but Semel ducked at the last second and swirled around Mel. Semel swung his staff low as hard as he could and he hit his target. Mel’s legs crumpled from under him, leaving him lying flat on his back. Semel pointed his staff at Mel’s face._

_“I yield!” Mel gasped._

_We all clapped for our classmate as Semel helped Mel to his feet._

_  
“You owe me a bottle Solo,” I said smiling._

_  
“Whatever, you got lucky,” he said rolling his eyes._

_“No such thing,” I chuckled._

_“Excellent work Semel,” Master Skywalker said. “I think we can all learn a lesson from Sam. Never judge a person on size. Talent can come in all forms.”_

_He winked at Semel, who grinned happily back at him._

_“Now, who’s next?” he said looking around at us all._

_I felt a need to stretch my legs so I grabbed a staff from the rack and stepped forward._

_“Ah, Elly. Thank you for volunteering. Do I have a challenger?” Skywalker asked._

_No one moved, and I grinned to myself. I didn’t mean to seem cocky, but I knew I was good. Much better than anyone here except perhaps…._

_“I’ll take her on,” Ben said stepping forwards with a staff and smirk on his face._

_“Come now Ben,” I called with a laugh. “Don’t make me hurt that pretty face.”_

_“You should be worrying about your own face El,” he called back._

_It looked like I would be fighting my best friend._

_“I yield,” I called, scowling._

_Our fight had lasted almost 15 minutes, but Ben had managed to throw me down. I had gotten in some good hits though. He was bleeding from his bottom lip and he would have some bruises tomorrow, to be sure._

_He offered me a hand and I took it. The rest of the students were applauding Ben, while his uncle looked on proudly._

_“Good fight, Solo,” I said rubbing my sore arms._

_“You defended yourself well,” Ben commended me. “I wouldn’t have won if you hadn’t lost your footing.”_

_“Thanks… but you were better,” I said patting him on the back. “Why don’t we share that bottle of Corrillian wine tonight?”_

_“I’ll meet you later,” he replied with a smile, before he walked off to speak to his Uncle._

_One day I’ll beat you Ben Solo I promised myself. One day._

_  
_

 


	5. Flyboy

**Flyboy**

 

It had been a few weeks since Poe had joined the Resistance. As I had predicted, he had made quite the impression especially on the women of the base. Everywhere he went, women followed him with their eyes, expelling giggles and smiles. I rolled my eyes at their foolishness. It wasn’t like we were in a war or anything. There wasn’t time for romance when there were TIE fighters to blow up.

 

About a month after Poe’s arrival I was deployed on a mission that ended up lasting almost a week. It wasn’t serious or dangerous really, but it was important. I had been tasked with trying to recruit some members for the Resistance. I had flown to several planets that had been known to sympathize with our cause. I spread my message far and wide and I think I had a few people interested. Only time would tell.

 

I returned in hopeful spirits and I went in search of the General to brief her on my success. It turned out that she was in the Control room with some of the Admirals and Commander Dameron as well.

 

“Captain, I’m glad you’re back,” she said smiling at me. “How did your mission go?”

 

“Well, I found a few hopefuls. Some villages ravished by the First Order. I passed on my message and I think at least a few will try and make contact. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” I told her.

 

“Let’s hope so. For now, we have a new objective. While you were away, the First Order has managed to take control of the Avixian System,” she said heavily.

 

“And sadly the Avixian System was our primary resource for our Starfleet’s parts,” Poe said, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Well….I suppose we’ll have to find another source,” I huffed.

 

“Our thoughts exactly,” the General said. “I think our best bet would be on Kenor. I know there is an old Rebel base there that should have a pretty decent amount of supplies that we could desperately use.”

 

“Those ships are outdated, but we should be able to salvage parts from them,” I agreed.

 

“And there is no reason for the First Order to be anywhere near Kenor. That planet was abandoned long ago, so it should be a relatively easy mission. It’s mainly just a supply run,” the General said.

 

“Sounds easy enough. When do I leave?” I asked.

 

“I knew I could count on you,” Leia smiled at me.

 

“Why don’t I go along with Captain Rayne. I’m sure she could use a hand with hauling all that junk onto her ship,” Poe suggested.

 

“I’d be glad for the extra pair of hands,” I said with a smile.

 

“I’m fine with that. I’m sure you’d like a chance to stretch your legs Commander,” Leia said. “You’ll both leave tomorrow morning.”

 

She dismissed us and Poe and I left the Control room together.

 

“We should take one of the freighters,” I suggested. “There’s plenty of room on those for bringing back old parts.”

 

“Good thinking,” he said. “I’m looking forward to working with you, Laera.”

 

“Should be an easy run,” I said. “No more than a few days or so. Make sure to bring some warm clothes. Kenor is an ice planet.”

 

“Thanks for the tip,” Poe said with a smile. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

 

 

 

The next morning I arrived on the hangar to see Poe loading up the last of the supplies we would need for a few days away from base into a freighter. I watched him for a minute. I couldn’t help but notice how good he looked while he was picking up the supplies. His muscles bulged in the grey t shirt he was wearing. I shook myself and grabbed my bag.

 

“Morning,” I said yawning. “Guess I slept in.”

 

“Nah, I just couldn’t sleep,” Poe said, straightening up. “I think I got everything we’ll need.”

 

“Great. Guess we’re ready to get going,” I replied.

 

We climbed into the ship and head towards the cockpit. There was an awkward moment where Poe and I both stared at the pilot’s seat then at each other, but I waved him off.

 

“You go ahead and take the reins,” I said. “I have no problem being co-pilot.”

 

“Are you sure?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, no problem. Besides you are the Commander. You outrank me,” I said shooting him a wink.

 

“Well when you put it that way…” he said chuckling.

 

We took our seats and strapped in. I set the coordinates into the NavSystem and a few moments later we were shooting off out of the atmosphere and into space. Poe flew the ship effortlessly and I could tell that his mood had lifted ever since we had left the ground. He had a smile on his face like he was completely at peace with the galaxy.

 

“You really love flying don’t you?” I asked with a grin.

 

“Absolutely. If I had it my way I’d live in the cockpit,” he laughed.

 

“You really are a flyboy,” I said shaking my head. “Our projected course takes us right to Kenor. We should be there in a few hours.”

 

Poe nodded and then it became very silent in the cockpit. I had never gone on a mission with another person siting next to me in the ship. It was usually my team in their own ships, or just me on a solo mission. I felt awkward sitting there. I realized how antisocial I really was. I wasn’t used to talking to people outside of a mission.

 

“Soooo….” Poe began.

 

“Sorry, I’m not used to having someone with me on a mission like this,” I admitted.

  
“You usually go on your own?” he asked.

 

“When I’m not with my squadron, yeah,” I replied.

 

“Well why don’t we get to know each other if we’re going to be spending the next few days together,” he suggested.

 

“Sure. You tell me about you first,” I said with a smile.

 

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

 

“Tell me about your parents. Were they both in the Alliance?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. My mom was Lieutenant Shara Bey and my dad was Sergeant Kes Dameron. That’s how they met. Dad said it was love at first sight,” he said smiling. “Mom was a great pilot. She even flew in the Battle of Endor. She taught me how to fly when I was 6. She would take me up in her old RZ A-wing interceptor and let me steer.”

 

I smiled at him. I could tell he missed his mother very much.

 

“She sounds like a wonderful woman. When did you lose her?”

 

“When I was 8. She got sick suddenly. There was nothing we could do,” he said sadly. “But I’ve still got dad. He still lives back on Yavin 4. What about you? What do your parents do?”

 

“No idea,” I said with a shrug. “I never met them.”

 

“You were an orphan?” he said looking at me.

 

“Yeah…I was a slave actually. On Crexal. My master owned a repair shop and I spent my time fixing old droids until I was 16,” I told him.

 

Poe stared at me surprised.

  
“I…I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” he said in shock.

 

“Its alright. I left when I was 16 and I never looked back,” I said.

  
“Where did you go?” he asked.

 

“Nowhere important,” I said casually. I couldn’t very well tell him I trained with Luke Skywalker for the next 6 years. “Tell me about your days in the Republic Starfleet.”

 

The next couple hours Poe told me stories about his missions in the Republic. He had me laughing at his antics and his way of always seeming to end up in trouble. Usually he would blow something up to get himself out of trouble. He was reckless, but he meant well. I found myself liking this crazy pilot. Maybe I had finally found another friend.


	6. Brave

**Brave**

 

****

"I think this is it," I said looking up at a huge set of metal doors.

"Great," Poe said. "I'm ready to get out of this snow."

We had been searching for the doors to the abandoned base for nearly a half hour. We were both bundled up in our heavy coats but it was still freezing with the wind whipping our faces and the snow blowing on us.

I walked over to the control panel and pushed the button. Thankfully the doors opened up and we quickly entered the abandoned base. Inside we found a bunch of old Rebel starships from before either of us were born.

"Woah," Poe said in awe.

"You said it," I agreed. "These ships are ancient."

"They're beautiful," he said, patting the side of the nearest one. "My mom flew one exactly like this."

I watched him stare at the ship in amazement and I smiled. It wasn't the ship he was enamored with. It was the idea of his mother in her heyday flying around in this A-wing, blowing up the Empire.

I left him there to appreciate the ship. I wanted to get an idea of what we could salvage so I wandered off toward the back of the hangar. It was kind of eerie to be honest. All this junk from the days of the Rebellion just left here to rot. I wondered if D'Qar would one day end up like this.

A noise startled me out of my thoughts. I took out my blaster from inside my coat and proceeded with caution. The sound seemed to come from around the corner. I crept forwards slowly with my blaster out in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

I jumped three feet into the air.

"Kriff Poe! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I gasped.

"Sorry," he chuckled then noticed my blaster. "What were you looking for?"

"I thought I heard a noise around here," I explained.

He nodded and took out his own blaster. He stepped in front of me and slowly looked around the corner.

"Holy kriff...." he exhaled, dropping his blaster.

He stepped forward and I followed. Rows and rows of artillery met my eyes. Proton torpedoes to be specific.

"Oh man," I said with a huge grin. "We hit the jackpot!"

"You think the Resistance can still use these?" Poe asked.

"Definitely. The propellant fuel has probably dried up but we can replace that with packed baridium," I told him.

"That's not a bad idea," he said thoughtfully. "You're pretty smart, kid."

"Kid?" I asked turning to look at him. "You're like 4 years older than me."

"Yeah, but you're short. Like a little kid," he said grinning.

"Clever," I said rolling my eyes. "Come on. Let's get to work."

The rest of the day we spent loading the freighter with the bombs we had found alongside some parts we managed to salvage. We hadn't finished but the sun began to set and the air got dangerously cold, so we decided to call it a night.

Once we were back inside the safety and warmth of our ship, I stripped out of my coat and headed for the refresher.

——————————

Poe's POV

Laera headed for the refresher so I decided go make us some dinner. I found the little dining area and decided some warm soup would hit the spot. While I was cooking I discovered some Nabooian Whiskey in one of the cabinets. I smiled to myself at my discovery and poured some in a glass.

"Whatcha doing, Commander?" a voice said behind me.

"I told you to call me P...." my voice trailed off.

Laera stood there in a pair of grey sweat pants and a crop top. Her long dark hair was damp and loose, spilling past her ample chest in soft waves. She looked unbelievably sexy.

"What?" she asked. "Why are you staring at me?"

She really didn't know how gorgeous she was.

"N..nothing," I said. "Want some soup?"

"You made dinner?"

"Yep. It's not much but at least it's warm," I said handing her a bowl.

"You didn't have to cook," she said surprised. "I could have made us something."

"Don't worry about it. I'll let you in on a little secret. I actually like to cook when I have the time," I told her as we both ate.

"That makes one of us," she said around a mouthful. "I can't cook to save my life. One time I almost set my hut on fire."

I laughed at her and took a sip of my whiskey.

"What are you drinking on?" she asked, eyeing the amber liquid.

"I found some Nabooian Whiskey in the cabinet. Want some?" I asked her.

"Definitely," she replied, getting up to pour herself some. "I'll also let you in on a little secret. I can seriously handle my liquor."

"A little thing like you?" I asked in disbelief. "Nah. No way."

"Is that a challenge, Dameron?" she asked, raising a brow.

I smiled at her.

"You're on, kid."

————————

Laera's POV

Our drinking challenge became a game of little secrets. We sat there at the table telling each other little secrets about each other as we steadily got drunker. Some of Poe's secrets had me laughing like crazy, or maybe it was the whiskey.

"Let's see...." Poe said. "When I was 12 I snuck out and took my Mom's old A-wing out for a joyride to impress a girl."

"You're kidding!" I laughed, imagining a kid Poe flying around Yavin in the dead of night.

"Nope," he said chuckling and taking a sip from his glass. "Got me my first kiss too. Your turn."

I took a sip from my own glass and thought about what he just said.

"Uhhh let's see. I've never been kissed," I said with a shrug.

Internally, I groaned. Why the hell did I say that? That was so freaking embarrassing.

Poe stared at me with complete shock on his face.

"What?! Seriously?!" he exclaimed. "No way. You're pulling my leg."

"It's embarrassing, but it's true," I admitted. "I just never had the opportunity I guess."

"But you're gorgeous!"

I stared at him as a slow blush spread across his face. Poe Dameron was blushing. What. The. Fuck.  
It was probably just the whiskey talking. Best ignore it.

"The only boy I ever had a relationship with was my best friend when I was a teenager. And we were only ever friends. We didn't feel that way about each other," I said shrugging.

"And none of the guys on base ever wanted to kiss you?" Poe asked in disbelief.

"If they did I didn't know. I'm kind of anti social."

My head was woozy. We had killed a good amount of the whiskey.

"Your turn," I said, waving at him.

He was quiet a couple of minutes. I figured he was thinking up a good one.

"I want to kiss you," he said quietly.

"Uhhh what?!" I asked in shock.

"I mean if you'll let me," he said quickly. "I just can't see how a girl like you can go this long without ever having kissing someone. As your friend I'd like to volunteer to be your first kiss. Nothing weird or anything. Just a kiss."

I stared at him. Clearly we had drank way too much if Poe freaking Dameron was volunteering to kiss me.

"Come on, kid. Am I that repulsive?" he asked grinning.

No. He was gorgeous. Freaking ridiculously good looking. I couldn't do much better.  I took a quick sip on my whiskey and decided to be brave.

"Alright Dameron. Make it a good one," I said sliding out from the table with a smile, my face burning.

He smiled wide and slid out too, approaching me slowly.

"This doesn't leave the ship," I warned him.

"Of course. What happens on Kenor stays on Kenor," he said.

He stepped closer. He was only a couple of inches away. Would he try to use tongue? I didn't know if I was ready for that.

He put his hands around my waist, pulling me forwards. My heart began racing. He bent his head down. I closed my eyes.

His lips met mine and immediately my mind spun. Inside my mind I saw us laying under the stars on some other planet. He was leaning over me, kissing me softly like he was now. He pulled back and stared into my eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

I opened my eyes and saw Poe standing inches away from me, his mouth turned in a half smile.

"Well?" he asked. "How was it?"

"Th...that was one hell of a first kiss," I managed to get out. "Thanks Poe. I better get to bed before we get ourselves into more trouble."

"Oh," he said looking a little startled. "Alright. Goodnight Laera."

"Night Poe," I said with a wave.

As soon as I entered my bunk, I collapsed on the bed. I knew exactly what had happened to me. I had a force vision. I had them before... it showed me the future. It showed Poe and I in love....  
And that terrified me to my very core.


	7. Ice

**Ice**

 

The next morning I woke up early. I put my clothes on and went to the little dining area to make some caff and swallow down a granola bar. About 20 minutes later Poe stumbled in with a groan. He was dressed but his hair was a complete mess. It was rather adorable actually.

"Morning, Bed-head," I said chuckling.

"Oh, my head," Poe moaned.

"I bet," I said smiling. I handed him a cup of caff.

"Thanks," he said graciously. "You're a life saver."

We both sipped on our mugs quietly for a while. I wondered how much of last night he remembered. I wondered if he regretted it. I didn't want to lose his friendship. I really liked Poe's sense of humor and buoyant nature. It was so different from my antisocial personality.

"So about last night..." Poe began awkwardly. "I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I...I shouldn't have put you in that position. Do you think we can still be friends?"

"Of course," I replied with a smile. "What happens on Kenor stays on Kenor."

"Good to hear that. You're starting to grow on me, kid."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname for me. I really needed to find a stupid name for him.

"Finish up. We got a job to do," I said, getting up to put my coat on.

"Aye aye," Poe said saluting me.

I rolled my eyes yet again. Moron could be a fitting name.

——————-

It took the better part of the day but we finally managed to load up everything we could find of value. We were able to salvage quite a bit and I was sure the General would be over the moon with our haul.

"That's the last of it," Poe said setting down a heavy box of equipment into the freighter. "Well the last of what we can fit in here."

"Good job Commander," I said. "This was a good supply run. It's been a long time since I had fun on a mission."

"Oh come on," Poe said in disbelief. "Are you telling me you don't have fun every time you blow up a TIE fighter?"

"Well.....maybe a little," I admitted with a grin. "But finding old Rebel bombs is a lot more fun."

"Fair enough," he said with a shrug. "Man I'd love to fly a TIE one day. Now that would be fun."

"Unless the First Order decides to start loaning out their ships, I doubt you'll ever get the chance," I said with a laugh, walking out of the ship and back into the snow to grab my tool kit I had left just outside the ramp.

"You never know," he replied. "Maybe I can sweet talk Hux."

I laughed out loud at the idea of Poe using his charm on the General of the First Order. I was still laughing when I turned around and slipped on a patch of ice.

I flailed, throwing my arms out and grabbing onto whatever I could find. Unfortunately, that happened to be the front of Poe's jacket. My feet slid out from underneath me and I fell flat on my ass, pulling Poe down with me.

"Ow," I groaned.

I looked up and saw Poe laughing while he was laying on top of me. I immediately blushed at the intimate way he had fallen on me. I had never been in this position before.

"Stop laughing and get off," I groaned.

He looked down at me and started laughing even harder. It took me a second to understand why.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter," I said, blushing even harder.

I shoved him hard and he stumbled to his feet. He held out a hand and helped me up.

"Sorry, kid," he said, smiling widely. "That's just how my mind works."

"Pervert," I grumbled, but I couldn't help the small smile on my face. "Come on. Let's get back to base before I end up stunning you with my blaster."

"You would never!" Poe exclaimed in mock outrage. "The ride back would be ungodly silent!"

"Oh what a shame that would be," I said sarcastically.

———————-

As I had predicted, the General was incredibly happy with the haul we had brought back with us. She even threatened to send us out on more missions together if we kept bringing back good results like this. Honestly, I had a suspicion she just liked me socializing with another human being and she could tell I liked Poe.

I didn't tell her about my force vision. I myself was trying to forget it. I had no desire to fall in love with anyone, especially the best pilot in the Resistance. I mean, come on. We were in a war. The chances of us both coming out alive at the end of this war was slim. Why would I want to fall in love with someone to only lose them in battle? It was senseless. So I buried that vision in a box and locked it away in the back of my mind.

The next week or so I spent on base running drills with the other pilots. Poe was the Commander of the entire Starfleet, but even he couldn't train everyone. I trained some of the rookies around D'Qar's atmosphere. I taught them how to stay in formation and how to suddenly parry an attack. They were improving steadily and I was proud of that.

Meanwhile, the galaxy was taking even more hits from the First Order. They had seized control of two more systems that had been friendly towards the Resistance. The First Order's power was only growing and it was beginning to look grim for us.

"We have got to start focusing on finding Luke," Leia told me one day. "He's the only one who can even the field."

"But he doesn't want to be found," I replied frowning.

"Well we can't always get what we want now can we?" Leia said stubbornly. "He needs to come back whether he wants to or not. We need him."

"I miss him too," I said, patting the other woman's arm.

She sighed.

"Why do all the men in my life seen to end up leaving me?" she asked heavily.

I wished I knew how to answer that question. Instead I just hugged her tightly.


	8. Unique

** Unique **

 

_ "Hey, Ben!" I yelled, running through the camp towards his hut. _

_ I couldn't wait to show him. I stopped at his door, panting slightly. I knocked hard. _

_ "Ben! Open up!" I demanded. _

_ I heard him rummaging around inside and finally the door opened. _

_ "Gross! Put on a shirt, bean-pole!" I exclaimed. _

_ "Really, Elly? It's the crack of dawn," Ben groaned, rubbing his eyes. "What could you possibly want?" _

_ "I have something to show you!" I said excitedly. _

_ I pushed past him and stepped into his small hut. I heard him grumble under his breath, but he closed the door. _

_ "What is so important that you have to wake me up?" he asked, yawning widely. _

_ "This is!" I exclaimed, withdrawing my saber from my robes. _

_ "Ohh. You finally finished it," Ben said with a grin. "Took you long enough. Go on, turn it on." _

_ I smiled again and hit the button. The blade shot out and glowed bright inside Ben's dark room. _

_ "Purple," he commented. "That's a rare color." _

_ "I know. I was surprised too. But I kind of like it. It makes me unique," I said waving it around. _

_ "May I?" Ben asked, holding out his arm. _

_ I nodded and handed him the saber. I watched him twirl it around a few times before he started chuckling. _

_ "What?" I asked indignantly. _

_ "You have some tiny hands," he said, gripping the handle awkwardly. _

_ His entire hand engulfed the hilt. _

_ "Not all of us are giant freaks of nature," I said with my hands on my hips. _

_ Ben was over a foot taller than me and he always loved reminding me of that fact. _

_ "So have you tried it out yet?" Ben asked, handing me back my saber. _

_ "No. I literally just finished it," I told him. _

_ "Well lets go christen it," he said with a smile. _

_ He grabbed his own saber from beside his bed. His glowed blue and the hilt was massive. I had to use both hands when I had tried it out. _

_ "Alright, Solo," I said with a grin. "But first, you seriously got to put a shirt on. I'm about to get sick over here." _

_ "Please," he scoffed. "This is the sexiest bod you will ever get to see." _

_ I pretended to vomit all over myself. _


	9. Friends

** Friends **

 

Sooner than I had realized, Poe had been at the base for a few months now. Sometimes he'd go off on missions, sometimes it was me that was gone. But he always made a point to stop when he saw me and make me laugh. I really did enjoy his friendship and I missed him when we would go a few days without seeing each other.

One day it just so happened that we were both on base at the same time. I had just gotten my dinner from the mess hall when I heard him call my name.

"Laera, come sit with us!" he called.

I walked over with my tray to his table he was sitting at with two of his friends.

"Guys, this is Captain Laera Rayne. Laera, meet Temmin Wexley and Jessika Pava," he said.

"So you're the famous Laera Rayne," Wexley said. "We've heard so much about you."

Wexley had a friendly face. He was a little chubby with dark curly hair and a beard.

"I'm famous?" I asked surprised.

"Poe has told us so much about you," Jessika said with a grin. "I was beginning to think you were a ghost. I never see you around here."

"The General has kept me busy these last few weeks," I told her. "Every time I come back to base she has another mission for me."

"I feel you there," Poe said. "I don't think I've been on base more than 5 or 6 days in a row. Not that I'm complaining."

"We all know you'd rather be out there blowing stuff up than helping out around here," Jessika said, rolling her eyes.

"That sounds about right," I said chuckling. "So how do you three know each other?"

"Oh we were the ones that defected with Dameron. We were all in the Republic Starfleet together," Wexley said.

"So you guys have been keeping up with this moron for years," I said gesturing towards Poe. "I don't envy you."

"Hey!" Poe said in indignation as his other two friends laughed.

"Oh I like her," Wexley said. "She's a keeper."

"Thanks?" I said unsure of who was keeping me.

"Alright you guys keep making fun of me. I'm gonna get seconds," Poe said getting up with his tray.

"How much does that boy eat?" I asked.  
His plate had been piled high before.

"You'd be surprised," Jessika said with a laugh. "What I really want to know is where he puts it all. Wish I had that kind of metabolism."

It looked to me she did. She was tall and slim and gorgeous with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her skin was tan and smooth. She looked like the kind of girl who could get any guy she wanted.

I heard laughing and I looked up to see Poe over by the food line with a girl. She had red hair and a pretty face. She was touching Poe's arm and giggling at whatever he was telling her. I felt a weird knot in my stomach but I didn't know why.

"Don't worry sweetheart, he's like that to everyone. He can't help it," Wexley said.

"Why would I be worried?" I asked confused.

Wexley and Jessika looked at each other, pointedly.

"You know he likes you, right?" Jess asked.

"Well sure. We're friends," I said.

"He likes you more than that judging by the way he talks about you all the time," Wexley said.

"I don't think..." I began but I had to stop talking because Poe rejoined the table.

"So what did I miss?" Poe asked.

"Not much. Just telling Laera about the time you accidentally went into that brothel on Gimma," Jess said with a grin.

"I thought it was a cantina!" Poe exclaimed.

"Yea a cantina filled with half naked Bimm women," Wexley said.

———————————

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned into my pillow. Maybe if I ignored it, the beeping would stop.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Or maybe not. I sat up and looked around my room. The beeping was coming from my holopad. I turned it on noting the early hour. Whoever was calling me had better have one good reason for it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey kiddo," a familiar voice said.

"Maz. It's been a while. Good to hear from you at 3am," I said surprised.

"Oh is it late there? I'm sorry," she said.

"No you're not," I replied.

"You're right. I'm not," she said matter of factly. "I'm calling because I need a favor."

"What's up?"

"I need you to come to Tokodana," she said. "It's kind of urgent."

"Are you okay? You're not in trouble are you?" I asked.

"No no. Nothing like that. I have something to tell you. Something that will help you're family out tremulously," she said.

"You can't tell me now?" I asked curiously.

"I don't dare. You never know who might be listening in kiddo," she said.

Whatever she needed to tell me, it sounded very important. Maz wouldn't ask me to come out there for something small.

"Alright, I'll leave as soon as I can," I told her.

"Make it quick," she said before hanging up.

I groaned but put on some clothes. I was just about to walk out of the door when something pulled me back. The chest at the end of my bed. I opened it and saw my saber lying inside where I had left it. I hadn't used it in years but something was telling me I should take it.

I didn't know why, but I listened to the what the Force was trying to tell me and I grabbed it. I stuffed it inside my jacket pocket hoping I wouldn't have to use it. I was still undercover after all, and a lightsaber was a huge red flag.

I crossed the base to the where some of the higher ups stayed. Admiral Ackbar, a couple colonels, and even Poe had a room here. I made my way to the General's room and knocked.

She answered it immediately. I could tell I hadn't woken her up.

"Don't you ever sleep?" I asked.

"I could ask the same of you," she said chucking but she let me in.

"So I just got an interesting call," I said. I explained to her about my conversation with Maz.

"I don't know what she has to tell me but it's got to be big, judging by how secretive and paranoid she was being," I said.

"You think it has something to do with Luke?" Leia asked.

"Maybe. She does know we are looking for him," I said. "In any case I think I should go and see what she has to say."

"Yes, you should. But I don't want you going alone. Why don't you go wake up Dameron and see if he'll tag along," Leia suggested.

"Uhh...I can handle this on my own," I said. "We don't need to bother him."

"Sure we do," Leia said with a knowing smile. "Besides the pair of you make a great team."


	10. Anger

**Anger**

 

_ Master Skywalker and I were sitting in the main room, just the two of us. Sometimes he provided one on one training for his more advanced students. We were currently meditating together. I tried to clear my mind but I was troubled, and I knew that Master Skywalker could sense it. _

_ "You're not concentrating, Elly," Skywalker reminded me. _

_ "I'm sorry...I'll try harder," I said. _

_ "Something clouds your mind. What's bothering you?" _

_ "It's...it's nothing," I said opening my eyes to see the older man sitting across from me watching me carefully. _

_ "It doesn't feel like nothing. You're worried about something...or someone," he said pointedly. "Is it Ben?" _

_ I sighed. _

_ "He just feels kind of....off lately," I admitted. "He's always had a sort of sadness inside him, but lately that's not what I feel from him anymore." _

_ "What do you feel?" Skywalker asked me carefully. _

_ I hesitated. This was not only our Master but it was Ben's uncle. I didn't want to get him into any trouble. _

_ "It's alright Elly," he said. "I've felt it too. I was just trying to see if perhaps I had misread him. I no longer sense sadness or loneliness from him. Instead it's been replaced by..." _

_ "Anger," I finished for him. _

_ He nodded solemnly. _

_ "I'm afraid his belief that his parents no longer care for him has festered inside of him, slowly turning to resentment and anger," he said heavily. _

_ "How can I help him?" I asked. "There must be something I can do to let go of these feelings." _

_ "I'm afraid there's nothing much you can do. You're already helping him immensely by just being his friend," he told me. "I think you may be the only person that Ben cares for." _

_ "I'm sure he loves his parents," I said in surprise. "Even if he doesn't want to admit it. Even if he's mad at them. Deep down I'm sure he loves his family....including you." _

_ "I hope so, Elly," he said with a sigh. "I really hope so. Now enough for today. I'm sure you are eager to go and find him and give him whatever you're hiding in your pocket." _

_ "I wasn't hiding it," I protested, but I saw he was smiling at me. _

_ "It's alright. Get out of here," he said with a chuckle. _

_ I got up and thanked him before I took off running to go find Ben. I had been looking forward to seeing him all day. He wasn't in the courtyard with the other students so I ran back to where our huts were. _

_ "Yo, Solo," I called, banging on his door. _

_ "Go away Elly," I heard him call through the door. _

_ "Not a chance," I called back. "I'm coming in. You better not be naked in there." _

_ Without waiting for a reply I opened the door and rushed inside. _

_ Ben was sitting on his bed, holding a little model of a freighter that looked suspiciously like his Dad's. His eyes were red like he has been crying. _

_ "I'm not in the mood today," he said gruffly. _

_ "What happened?" I asked, sitting down across from him on his bed. _

_ "It doesn't matter," he said angrily. "I just fooled myself into thinking they ever gave a damn about me." _

_ "You're parents haven't called you today have they?" I asked quietly. _

_ "Of course not," he scoffed. "They're too busy to remember what today is. Hell they're too busy to remember they have a son." _

_ "I'm sure that's not true," I said. "Maybe they just..." _

_ "Like I said, it doesn't matter," he said quickly. _

_ I sighed. There wasn't anything I could do to change his mind while he was in such a bad mood, so I decided to try and make him feel a little more loved. _

_ "Well I know something that will make you cheer up," I said with a grin. _

_ "Yeah? Like what?" he asked. _

_ "Ta da!" I exclaimed, withdrawing the package from my pocket. _

_ "You didn't have to get me anything," he said but there was a small smile on his lips. _

_ "Yeah yeah whatever. Open it," I said. _

_ He tore into the paper and saw the small box. He opened it and his face showed surprise. _

_ "A kyber crystal?" he asked, lifting the pendant out. _

_ "Hold it in your hand," I urged. _

_ He grasped the crystal in his hand and instantly the colorless crystal glowed bright purple. Ben smiled. _

_ "What is that?" he asked. _

_ "I inlaid the crystal with my energy. I focused on feelings of friendship and happiness," I told him. "That way when you hold it, you'll feel my energy and you won't be lonely." _

_ He grasped the crystal tighter in his fist, and pulled me into a tight embrace. _

_ "Thanks El," he said roughly. "I love it." _

_ I hugged him back, trying to convey how important he was to me. _

_ "Happy Birthday Ben," I said into his chest. _


	11. Jedi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone who has read this story :)  
> I love reviews and comments, so keep them coming please!

**Jedi**

 

I made my way to the room Leia had told me I would find Poe. I knocked and hoped he wouldn't hate me for waking him up this early in the morning.

A minute or two later, the door opened revealing a very sleepy Poe. His hair was messy and his eyes said clearly that I had woken him up from a deep sleep. His chin had a slight dark stubble. I also noticed with sudden clarity that he was only wearing pajama pants.

He was completely shirtless...and damn did he look good. He was well muscled. His chest was broad and smooth. His chiseled stomach revealed a slight sprinkling of dark hair that disappeared under the waistband of his pants. I couldn't help the blush that spread across my face.

"Laera?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Uh...sorry to wake you. I um..Leia..I mean the General wanted you to come with me on a mission," I said, looking anywhere but at him.

"A mission? Now?" he asked surprised.

"Uh yeah. To Tokodana," I said. "Sorry."

"No it's alright. Just give me a couple minutes to get dressed," he said.

"Yeah no problem. I'll meet you at the hangar," I told him.

I waved then walked off, cursing myself for being so awkward. It's not like I had never seen a shirtless man before. Lots of guys around base went shirtless when they were working hard in the heat. And Ben had been shirtless around me before. I just never had that kind of response around a shirtless man.

I shook myself and started prepping the ship we were going to take. I was giving it a final check when Poe arrived fully dressed in his leather brown jacket and brown pants.

"Sorry about waking you up so early," I told him. "I told the General I could handle this on my own but she wasn't having it."

"Hey it's okay," he said. "There's no one I'd rather go on a 4am mission with than you, Rayne."

I blushed yet again. He was really good at that.

"So fill me in," he said as we climbed into the cockpit. "What's on Tokodana?"

I filled him in on the conversation with Maz and what the General and I were speculating. Meanwhile he piloted the ship to the coordinates I plugged in.

"So you think this Maz has some information regarding Luke Skywalker?" Poe asked.

"Possibly. She knew Luke back in the day. Maz is force sensitive but she never wanted to train as a Jedi," I told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"She always said she'd rather be free than belong to any order. But she's still helps us out when she can," I said.

"She's crazy. I'd love to be a Jedi," he said with a grin. "I met Skywalker when I was a kid. He planted this force tree outside our house. I saw him do some pretty amazing things. And he had this awesome laser sword.."

"Light saber," I corrected him.

"Yeah that. And he could make things float around him. I'm telling you. The Jedi were amazing," he said.

"But you'd belong entirely to them. The Jedi are expected to have control of their emotions. They aren't allowed to have anger or fear. And they aren't allowed to love," I said. "Attachment is forbidden."

"Really? How do you know all that?" he asked.

"I uh..read a book on the Jedi order once," I said quickly.

"Oh. I don't know. I still think having control of the force would be cool," he said with a shrug. "It would definitely help out the Resistance."

I wanted to correct him, but I let the subject drop. There was once a time where I thought the idea of being a Jedi was the coolest thing ever...but sadly I knew better now.

——————————-

"Now I'm warning you. Maz herself helps us out when she can, but when it comes to her business, her policy is no questions asked," I told Poe as we walked towards Maz's castle. "So you can expect people from all over and on both sides in here. Try not to stare."

"Got it," he said, his hand on his blaster.

"And try not to shoot anyone," I said rolling my eyes.

"No promises," he said with a grin.

We walked into the bar and of course it was filled with all sorts of creatures. Some were drinking near the bar, some were smoking or gambling, and some were hidden in dark corners of the room.

We walked into the crowd and I could feel eyes on us. I led Poe towards the bar. I ordered us a couple of beers and asked the bartender to let Maz know she had guests.

We sipped our drinks and watched the crowd while we waited. I noticed some unsavory looking creatures staring at us through narrow eyes. I looked away quickly.

"Took you long enough girl," Maz said coming out from the back of the bar. "Follow me."

I shot a grin at Poe and we followed Maz into a little room near the back of the bar that held a single table and two chairs. She shut the door and took one of the chairs. Poe motioned for me to take the other one.

"Elly....it's been too long," Maz said warmly. "It's good to see you."

"It's Laera now," I reminded her sternly, shooting a glance at Poe. He looked confused. "It's good to see you too."

"And you've brought your boyfriend," she said with a smile looking up at Poe. "Come, let me get a look at you."

She stood on her chair so she could get a better view of Poe. She stared deep into his eyes, while Poe looked uncomfortably at me.

"Just go with it," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"You've got a good heart," Maz told him. "You're very brave....and very handsome too."

She gave me a wink and Poe smiled.

"But I'm afraid you've lost sight of what's really important. You need to protect what you love," she told him. "Or you'll lose it forever."

"Alright Maz," I told her. "No need to scare him. We're here now. What do you have for us."

She turned back towards me and sat down.

"A few nights ago, a man came into my bar. He was hooded and he refused to tell me his name, but I could tell he was on the right side. He told me something that could have gotten him killed had anyone known he had this information," she said. "He told me who Skywalker went to see before he vanished."

I gaped at her. No one knew what Luke had done after he left me on D'Qar. He just disappeared. I knew he was going to look for the original Jedi temple but that had been lost for centuries.

"Who?" I asked in a whisper.

"Apparently he went to see Lor San Tekka," Maz said.

"Tekka? Why would he need Tekka?" I asked, confused.

"No idea kiddo," she said shaking her head. "But that's not all. He gave Tekka information on where he was going."

"Who was this man?" I asked. "How can we know we can trust him?"

"I got the feeling it was one of Tekka's followers," Maz said. "Perhaps he is tired of the destruction The First Order causes, or maybe he no longer follows the teachings of Tekka. In any case I know he must have been sworn to secrecy but he chose to tell me this anyways, which means he is on our side."

"But no one has seen Tekka in years," I said in despair. "I don't even know where to even begin to look for him."

"Hey it's a step closer to finding Skywalker," Poe said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "At least we have something to go on now.Thank you Maz. The General will be very grateful for this information."

"I'm sure she will," Maz said with a smile. "Now I wonder if you would give me and uh... _Laera_ a minute alone?"

"Of course," Poe said. "I'll just go wait at the bar."

I nodded and he left the room.

"I like your boyfriend," she said.

"He's not my boyfriend, Maz," I said. "That's Poe Dameron. He's the Commander of the Resistance Starfleet."

"But he's more than that to you. Or he will be. You've seen that," she said wisely. "Haven't you?"

"I saw something," I admitted. "But the future isn't set in stone. It can always change."

"What are you so afraid of? You could do a lot worse than that man," she said. "He cares for you, you know."

"I know...but I can't...I can't let myself love anyone," I told her. "I've lost everyone I've ever loved. I can't do it again."

"Girl you are forgetting the first lesson Luke taught you," Maz said sternly. "Trust in the Force. If the Force is bringing you two together then it is meant to be. I thought you Jedi were supposed to wise."

"I'm not a Jedi, Maz," I reminded her. "Not anymore."

—————————————

I left the room and went in search of Poe. He wasn't by the bar, so I wandered through the crowd. Suddenly his voice reached my ears.

"Come on now guys," he was saying to 3 huge Chevin thugs. "There's no need for this."

They were holding him up by the collar of his jacket, and looking down at him with a snarl.

"Resistance scum!" one growled.

"I'm not Resistance!" Poe said.

I noticed they had taken his blaster. I quickly made my way over to them.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" I asked calmly.

"We kill Resistance filth like you around here," their leader said.

I decided a calm approach would be best in a crowded place like this. Against my better judgement I reached out with the Force and touched the leader's mind. He wasn't exactly weak minded, but I knew I could persuade it with the Force.

"You must be mistaken," I said politely, using the Force to bend his will. "My husband and I just stopped in for a drink. We aren't Resistance."

"You aren't Resistance," the thug repeated back to me, in a daze.

"You can let him go now," I said.

The thug dropped Poe immediately.

"We should leave now," I said with a smile.

"You should leave now," the leader repeated.

"What? Boss, why you letting him go?" the one on the left asked.

"Come on," I urged Poe.

I grabbed him by the hand and led him towards the door.

"How....," Poe began to ask but I shook my head.

"Not now," I whispered.

Unfortunately, the leader seemed to come out of his daze before we made it out.

"Huhhh...hey wait!," he called. "Stop them!"

"Shit," I muttered.

The two Chevin beside the leader bolted straight for us, blasters in hand. They began firing immediately. I pulled Poe down behind a table.

"I'm unarmed!" Poe called.

Around us, the patrons of the bar began to scatter, eager to get out of the line of fire. I pulled out my blaster and began firing back at the thugs. I hit one in the chest and he fell. The other one kept coming forward.

He reached the table we were hiding behind and he flipped it, sending it soaring over our head. The thug grabbed Poe. Poe sent a mean right hook across the thugs face. He snarled and pointed his blaster at him.

"No!" I shouted and I dove into the thug sending Poe flying out of his fist and across the bar.

The thug head butted me, splitting my bottom lip. I tasted blood but ignored the pain. I managed to get a shot into the creatures head and he stopped moving.

I stood up to see the leader holding Poe by the throat, just a couple feet away.

"Throw the blaster away, or I'll break his neck!" the leader shouted.

"Don't hurt him!" I shouted back.

He tightened his grip on Poe's throat and Poe began to turn blue.

"Okay! I'm dropping it!" I shouted.

I threw the blasts across the room.

"Now you can watch your lover die!" the Chevin laughed evilly.

I did it without hesitation. There was no way I was letting Poe die. I knew what it meant. The bar was full of people. I was basically outing myself by doing it, but I didn't care. Poe was more important than my secret.

I withdrew my lightsaber from inside my jacket and ignited it. The shock on both Poe and the thug's faces were priceless. With one swift move, I sliced the arm holding Poe clean off the Chevin's body. Poe dropped to the floor, gasping for breath.

The Chevin screamed in pain and anger, so I ended his misery by slicing his head off as well.

The bar was instantly quiet.

I rushed to Poe, who was still gasping.

"Are you okay?" I asked, watching him rub his throat.

"You.....you're.." he choked.

"Can you stand?" I asked.

With my help he stood up and we made our way out of the bar. Before we left I caught a glimpse of Maz staring at me from the shadows.

We made it back onto our ship and I took the pilots seat. I took off immediately, careful to watch out for anyone following us.

Thankfully, we were clear and a few minutes later we were in hyperspace.

Silence ran through the cockpit and I put the ship on autopilot. I turned to Poe who had finally caught his breath, but ugly bruises were beginning to form on his neck.

"Are you ok?" I asked again.

"Yeah. I'm good," Poe said staring firmly at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I asked, but I knew what his next words would be.

"You're a Jedi," he said in awe.


	12. Replaceable

"You're a Jedi," he said.

"No, I'm not," I said firmly. "And I never will be."

"But you can use the force. You...you have a light saber," he argued.

I sighed.

"You have to understand," I began. "The only ones who know what I am are Maz and General Organa. I'll tell you everything, but I have to trust that you won't tell anyone else."

"Of course you can trust me, Laera," he said softly.

"My name isn't Laera. It's really Elly. The general decided it would be better for me to change my name so Ben..." I stopped myself.

This would be difficult to explain. I looked at Poe wondering how much Leia had disclosed to him.

"What do you know about Kylo Ren?" I asked.

The question seemed to surprise him.

"He's the commander of the First Order. He's a powerful force user. He slaughtered the Jedi that Luke was training....and I know he was once The General's son," he said.

"Good. She told you. That will make things easier to explain," I said. "I'm not sure where I was born or who my parents were. All I remember is I was a slave on Crexal from as early as I could remember. I was always different. I had these abilities....I didn't know what it was I could do until Luke found me. He followed the Force and the Force led him to me. He took me away and began training me with his other students. That's where I met the boy Ben Solo."

I stopped for a moment. It was hard to talk about him. I felt tears prickle in my eyes.

"Ben became my best friend," I told Poe. "I loved him like a brother. He confided in me, and I in him. We trained together, fought together...we were inseparable. But even I couldn't save him from himself. I lost him. Snoke turned his mind away from the light...away from me. The night he slaughtered our classmates...I'm not entirely sure what happened. I woke up to the sounds of screaming... everything was on fire. I ran, looking for Ben. But then I saw him, cutting down Semel. A boy of only 12."

I paused again and this time I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Poe took my hand and held it tightly, encouraging me to go on.

"Ben saw me. He started to come towards me. I don't know if he meant to kill me or if he was going to try to turn me....but one of  Snoke's guard got me first. I guess they were there to bring Ben to Snoke. One got me with their blade," I told him.

I lifted my shirt to show him the scar that ran across my abdomen. Poe gave me an incredulous look.

"I fell, and I rolled down a steep hill. I remember going in and out of consciousness. I must have been very near death because Ben couldn't have felt my force signature. He believed me to be dead. Master Skywalker found me and saved my life. He brought me to the Resistance. He taught me how to hide my force signature so Ben couldn't find me...and then he left. Leia suggested I change my name to avoid the First Order getting any kind of wind about me still being alive. And I've stopped using the force..... mostly," I added.

"Laera...I mean Elly...," Poe whispered.

I smiled through the tears. I liked hearing him say my real name.

"I'm so sorry...for what you've been through," he said softly.

He paused, thinking.

"Wait. You used the force back there...in front of all those people," he said slowly. "Won't you be in danger? The First Order is bound to hear about this."

"Yeah...I knew that when I withdrew my saber," I admitted.

"But...maybe they won't know it's you. I mean as far as they know it could be some other force user," he said desperately.

"Unfortunately, I have a rare colored lightsaber. Purple is kind of unique to the Jedi. If Ben...I mean Kylo Ren ever hears there was a sighting of a purple lightsaber, he'll know it was me."

"Then why would you do that?" Poe asked, almost angrily. "Why would you put yourself in danger like that?!"

"I couldn't just let them kill you," I said heavily. "You're way more important than me. The Resistance needs you. I'm...I'm replaceable."

Silence rang through the cockpit as Poe stared at me. He looked angry, confused and something else I couldn't place...

With one stride he stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. I was shocked at first, but then I began to enjoy the feel of his warm body on mine. His arms were wrapped around my waist, his face buried in my hair. I reached up tentatively and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Not to me," he whispered softly.

—————————-

As soon as we got back we went in search of the General. We found her waiting on us in the communications chamber. She had a very worried expression on her face.

I let Poe fill her in about what Maz said. She was ecstatic to find out any information on Luke. Poe looked at me when he began telling her about our little scuffle with the Chevin thugs and I stepped in and explained what happened. When we were finished talking, Leia didn't look very happy.

"Well....it seems you've come back with good and bad news," she said heavily. "While I'm over the moon that we have a lead on my brother, I'm not happy that you had to put yourself in danger. Word of this incident is bound to reach the First Order."

"I know...but I was willing to take that risk when I decided Commander Dameron's life is more than worth it," I said firmly.

"I am happy to have you both back in one piece...but this means you will have to be even more careful. Maybe we should think about grounding you for the time being," Leia said thoughtfully.

"What? No way!" I exclaimed. "I can do more good out there than here!"

"You can't do much good if you're dead, Captain," she argued.

"But..." I began.

"No. I won't here another word about it, Laera. You're on repair duty until further notice," she said firmly.

Fuming, I turned around and stormed off without even waiting to be dismissed. I knew she meant well but I was pissed. I hated being stuck on base. I felt useless when I couldn't be up there with my squad. Why were they able to risk their lives but I wasn't able to choose to risk mine?

I kept walking, not caring where I went. Before I knew it, I found myself on the hangar again. I stopped by Poe's X-wing. Sitting down on the ground, I stared up at the shiny black ship and sighed. I didn't for a second regret saving Poe, even if I was grounded.

A beeping met my ears and BB-8 rolled up to greet me.

"Hey little buddy," I said, patting his dome head.

He beeped curiously at me.

"No, I'm alright," I sighed. "I'm just kind of in a bad mood."

He beeped again.

"No, it wasn't Poe's fault," I told him. "He didn't do anything wrong."

BB-8 replied and I laughed.

"I heard that," Poe said walking up to us.

He plopped down beside me on the ground.

"You ok, kid?" he asked me.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said heavily. "I just really hate being grounded for doing nothing wrong."

"She's just trying to protect you, you know," he said softly.

"Yeah I know," I admitted. "But it's my life. I should be willing to risk it if I want to."

"I get that. But a lot of people would be really upset if you got yourself killed," he told me.

"Right," I snorted.

"I'm serious," Poe said firmly. "The General sees you as a daughter to her. She'd be devastated if she lost you. And Wexley and Jess really like you. Jess was just saying the other day how nice it was to hang around another woman for a change."

"What about you?" I asked without thinking.

He looked at me sadly for a moment.

"I...I'd miss you too kid," he said softly. "This place would be meaningless without you here."

I blushed slightly and stared at the ground. His words made my stomach flip but I was worried. I didn't want to mean so much to him, yet at the same time I did. It was confusing to want someone so much, but not want to feel so much that your heart would break when you lost them.

"Hey kid?" Poe said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I never thanked you. For saving my life," he said. "Thanks. You were pretty badass back there."

I smiled at him and decided to let myself have this moment of comfort. I leaned my head against his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me.

"You're welcome," I whispered.

Poe rested his head on mine and we just sat there for a while in silence, just enjoying each other's company.


	13. Complicated

With the news that Lor San Tekka had information about the whereabouts of Luke, Leia immediately began to track down any information about Tekka. True, no one had seen the man in years, but there were a few places we knew where he had once resided. Poe was sent to some of these places to see if there was any evidence of where he might have gone.

Meanwhile, Leia had made good on her promise and I was indeed stuck doing repairs on old droids and some of the ships. It was long and tedious work, but I was good at it and I tried to let it consume me. If I focused on the repairs my mind wouldn't wander to thoughts of Poe or whether Ben had gotten word of my presence.

I was fixing a rather stubborn B-wing one afternoon when Jess decided to come looking for me. I was a mess, covered in grease and oil and sweat. She looked gorgeous as always.

"Afternoon Captain!" She called.

"Call me Laera, please," I said, hopping off the wing of the ship.

"You look like you could use a break," Jess said, giving me a once over. "Wanna hang out?"

"Hang out?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah, you know. When two friends spend time together doing something fun," she said with a laugh.

"Uh sure," I said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Wanna hang out in my room? I've got wine," she said with a grin. "I'll even get some food from the mess hall so we can pig out."

"Okay. Let me shower off and I'll meet you there," I said.

I had never really had "girl time" before. I was looking forward to it, actually. It sounded like fun. After a quick shower I dressed in plain black pants and an old T-shirt I had. I made my way to Jess's room feeling nervous but excited.

She opened the door and greeted me with a big smile. She was wearing short shorts and a tank top that showed off her midriff.

"Come on in," she said.

Her room was standard size but I noticed she had decorated it with lots of colorful fabrics and pillows. Her closet was overflowing with clothes. I wondered where she had gotten them all. Off world obviously.

She poured us a couple glasses of wine and offered me some food. We ate and drank while we chatted about the weather and her recent mission.

"Thanks for hanging out with me," Jess said. "With Poe gone, I've been getting more time off than I'm used to. I'm almost getting sick of it."

Poe had been gone for a few weeks now. He was tracking down another lead to find Tekka. He had been gone longer than he had originally planned, and I was starting to get worried. The worry must have shown on my face because Jess noticed.

"Hey don't worry," she said kindly. "Poe's been gone longer than this before. He always comes back."

"Yeah I know," I said. "I'm sure he's fine."

The words sounded unconvincing even to my ears.

"Seriously. He gets himself into trouble all the time, but he always, ALWAYS finds a way out of it," she said.

"Thanks Jess," I said gratefully.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, looking at me.

"Sure."

"What's going on between you and Dameron?" she asked with a grin. "I know you guys are close...but how close are you?"

"I mean we're friends..." I said slowly.

"But do you like him more than that?" she asked. "Don't worry, I won't tell him if you don't want me to."

"It's...it's complicated," I admitted to her. "I've never....felt this kind of way for someone before. Everything is so new to me and I keep finding myself confused about how I feel."

It felt good to confide in someone about this kind of stuff. Jess seemed trustworthy and she had sought me out herself. She had kept making advances to try to get to know me and be my friend. I really did like her.

"Oh wow," she said. "So you've never had a boyfriend or a crush anything?"

I shook my head.

"No wonder you're feeling confused," Jess said kindly. "Let me ask you this. When you're around him does your stomach feel like it's flopping around? Does your heart feel like it's trying to break free from your chest?"

I nodded slowly and she smiled widely at me.

"Yup, you're in love," she announced. "Wexley owes me money."

I shook my head.

"I can't be in love with Poe," I argued. "I don't want to be in love with anyone."

"Sorry honey, the heart wants what the heart wants," she shrugged. "It's ok though. I'm pretty certain he love you too."

"I think he just likes me as a friend," I said thoughtfully. "He calls me kid a lot."

"That's just his stupid nickname for you," she replied.

"I've seen the women he flirts with around the base. None of them look like me. They're all gorgeous. I'm short and....well I look like a child," I said with a sigh.

"Don't even give me that. You're beautiful. Seriously Laera," she said. "In fact, if you'll let me I'll show you how beautiful you are."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Would you be opposed to letting me do your hair and makeup?" she asked with a smile.

"Why? It's not like we're going anywhere," I said.

"So? I like doing makeup and hair and you'll enjoy it too. It will make you feel good about yourself," she said proudly.

I agreed, only because she pouted when I hesitated. If it made her happy then why not? I let her curl my hair and apply some of her makeup to my face. She took over an hour making me up, and I could tell she was an expert at this. I guess even badass  pilots like her could still be girly when they weren't blowing up TIEs.

Finally, I thought we were done. I turned to look in the mirror but she turned me away.

"Let's change your clothes too while we're at it," she said.

She began digging through her closet, looking for something that would fit me. I was much shorter than her and she was slimmer than me, so I doubted she would find anything.

Apparently I was wrong though. She emerged from the closet holding a white sleeveless summer dress.

"Here you go," she said. "This should fit."

I changed into it. It was nothing like what I usually wore. It was lacey and thin and so....feminine.

Jess looked at me approvingly.

"You look gorgeous," she said. "Ok, now you can look."

I looked into her full length mirror and didn't even recognize myself. I had never seen me look so....womanly. Jess had seriously done a perfect job on my makeup. I'll admit, it was an ego booster.

"Told you," she said smiling at me. "You're absolutely stunning."

"Thanks Jess," I said and she hugged me.

A little while later Jess decided she was tired of being cooped up in her room so we headed out across the base for an evening walk.

The sun was just beginning to set when the sound of an X-wing landing reached our ears.

"Poe's back!" Jess exclaimed happily.

She grabbed my hand and we ran towards the hangar. Poe was disembarking his ship. He looked tired, but I was happy to see he was unharmed.

Jess went over to talk to him, while I stayed behind. I was feeling self conscious with the way I was dressed. They moved towards me as they talked and suddenly Poe looked up and spotted me.

His eyes widened as he took my appearance in. I knew I looked different than I usually did. Of course he would have to come back while I looked all...weird.

"Hey Poe," I greeted him. "Good to have you back."

"Laera," he said, staring at me intensely. "You look....beautiful."

"Oh...thanks," I said blushing. "Jess got ahold of me."

"And I think she's a masterpiece if I do say so myself," she said.

She shot me a wink and ran off towards the base, leaving me and Poe alone.

"She's quite the character," I said shaking my head.

"Yeah," Poe said. He was still staring at me, and my stomach began flipping again.

"So how was your mission?" I asked.

"Well... I learned of two different places Tekka was holed up in for a while," Poe said. "But both places seem abandoned, from what I could tell. There is one other place where I heard rumors he once lived in, but it was far in the outer rim and I needed to come back here for a rest before I can check it out."

"You do look exhausted," I said. "Why don't you go get debriefed so you can get some sleep?"

"Good idea," he said. "Walk with me?"

I nodded and we began walking towards the base.

"You were gone a long time," I said quietly. "You must be exhausted."

"I won't argue that," he said. "It was a long trip.... I missed you."

I blushed, but a small smile reached my lips. I felt my stomach flip again.

"I uh...guess I missed you too," I said teasing him. "It's been too quiet around here. No one to annoy me."

"Oh really?" he said with a grin. "Well I'll get right on fixing that as soon as I can."

He ruffled my hair and I ducked out of his reach. He laughed and I enjoyed the sound much more than I should have.

We kept walking in comfortable silence, when suddenly Poe reached out and took my hand. Warmth spread through me, and all I could think was how right this felt. The  force all around us felt strong and complete. It pulled me to him.

"Is this ok?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," I replied. I couldn't deny how good this felt. I squeezed his hand in mine.

————————

The next day I was fixing up the B-wing yet again when Poe walked up to me. I was under the belly of the ship. I had gutted her slightly to fix an issue, so i had room to stand. My head was surrounded by wires and metal.

Poe ducked under the ship and stood with me in the cramped space. He was only a few inches away.

"Busy?" He asked, looking around at the gutted ship.

"This ship has been giving me hell these last few days," I sighed, trying to ignore Poe's close proximity.

He reached out and brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen into my eyes.

"I'm so tired of being grounded," I admitted.

"I know kid," Poe said. "Which is why you're about to love me."

I stared at him and he chuckled.

"The First Order has been terrorizing the Neram section," Poe said. "We need our best pilots for this job. I just convinced the General to let you come along."

"Really?!" I exclaimed. "You're the best!"

I reached up and pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and held me for a long moment. I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling.

"But you have to promise to be careful," Poe said. "No using the Force."

"Yeah yeah," I said.

"I mean it Elly," he said, pulling away from me. "It's too dangerous to use it right now."

I smiled at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I like it when you call me Elly. I'm glad I don't have to hide who I really am from you," I said.

"Me too," Poe said.

He was standing so close to me. I got the urge to kiss him again, and really let myself enjoy it this time, but I didn't dare.

"When do we leave?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"Oh...as soon as possible," Poe said, shaking himself. "Go ahead and get ready and we'll set off."


	14. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and reviewing. It makes me want to post more!
> 
> Heres a question. To smut or not to smut?  
> I personally enjoy the smut, but I'm curious to hear what you guys think.
> 
> <3
> 
> P.S. This chapter was inspired by the song Oceans by Seafret.

 

The battle was intense. There were so many TIE fighters that met our squadron, it seemed impossible we would make it out. Not to mention the giant cruiser that also was waiting for us.

Poe commanded us all. He instructed me to help him blow up the cruisers cannons while the others held off the TIEs.

It was going well for a while, but then we began to take heavy losses. I could feel our comrade's lives being snuffed out, and it tore at me like knives. Poe and I managed to finish disabling the canons, and we joined the rest of the squad in fighting back the TIEs.

"Rayne fall back," Poe instructed over the comm. "There are too many of them ahead."

I fell back but noticed Jess was surrounded by TIEs. I made my way over to her and began blasting them out of the way.  
They turned and began firing on me.

"I said fall back Captain!" Poe shouted. "I'll handle these guys."

He began firing on the ships but now there were too many chasing both Jess and I. It looked like we were done for. Poe could never take out this many.

Poe was going to be so pissed.

I reached out with the Force and jerked the nearest TIEs controls, sending him crashing into another ship.

Then I did the same to the ones following close to Jess. It freed her up and she was able to break free from the path of fire.

"Rayne!" Poe barked.

But the damage was done. We had lost too many of our own, but we managed to take out enough TIEs that we could escape.

"Everyone back to base, now!" Poe commanded.

We all shot into light speed.

I didn't even want to think about how mad Poe was going to be.  
—————————————

"What the hell was that, Rayne?" he shouted angrily.

We were back on base, and in the communications room with Leia. She too was looking furious.

"I'm sorry ok? I had to help Jess," I said.

I had never seen Poe look this angry.

"You disobeyed a direct order!" He growled. "You used the Force again, and in front of their cruiser! Kylo Ren could have been on that ship! Do you want to be killed? Do you have some kind of deathwish?!"

"No, but maybe I'm tired of everyone telling me that I should let other people die instead of doing what I can to save them!" I shouted back. "Jess would be dead if it weren't for me! Hell you would be dead too! It was my choice to save you both. It's my decision!"

"When will you learn that your decisions have consequences?! When the First Order captures and tortured you? Or maybe when Kylo Ren plunges his lightsaber into your heart?!" Poe yelled.

"Well if it comes to that then so be it! It's my life to risk!" I said furiously.

I was so angry. He was acting like I didn't have the right to sacrifice myself but everyone else did.

"You just don't get it do you?!" Poe shouted even louder. "Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you died?! Do you even care how much it would break me?!"

Silence rang through the room. I didn't know how to answer that. He was never supposed to get so close to me. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

"Just forget it," he huffed, mistaking my silence for me not caring.

He tore off out of the room, letting the door slam behind him. I sat down defeated. I realized Leia was still in the room when she sat down opposite me.

"Go ahead," I growled. "Tell me how stupid I am for using the Force when I was told not to."

"That's not what I was going to say," Leia said calmly.

I sighed. I didn't mean to snap at her.

"Everything is just....This was not supposed to happen," I said. "I didn't mean to..."

"Fall in love?" she finished for me.

I groaned and put my head in my hands. Leia patted me comfortingly on the back.

"I'm afraid that if I let myself love him, I'll lose him," I whispered.

"Take it from someone who has lost everyone. I don't regret a minute of any of it. Love is what makes the pain of life worthwhile," she said.

"But it hurts so much when they go," I said.

"Of course it does. That's how you know you really loved them. But the pain doesn't mean it's not worth it," she said wisely. "Just think on it."

————————

That night I sat in my room, listening to the storm outside. It was pouring down. A good thing too, as we desperately needed the rain.

I sat there and thought about Leia's words. I could no longer deny that I felt something deeply for Poe. So deeply that the pain of the thought of losing him was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

My life had been an endless stream of loneliness only lightened by the friendship Ben had given me. But then he had destroyed everything I ever cared about in one cruel act of betrayal. I had withdrawn into myself, refusing to let anyone get close to me.   
Then Poe came along. Without even trying he had made me feel so deeply and so quickly. The Force brought us together, I was sure of that now. I craved his company, and I craved his touch. Being around him made me feel more alive than I  had ever felt.

Life was only enjoyable and worthwhile when he was in it.

I shot up at the realization.

It was too late to turn back. I loved him, and there was only one thing left for me to do.

Without caring that it was nearly 1am, without even putting on a jacket, I took off running down the hall and out of the building. My mind was set on only one goal. I had to see Poe.

The ran soaked me instantly as I ran across the base towards his room, but I barely noticed. It was like I was being pulled towards him. He was the only thing that mattered.

I arrived at his door and I knocked frantically.

He opened the door, but this time he looked as if he hadn't been asleep. Again he was shirtless.

"Elly? What..." he began, his eyes wide with confusion.

The instant he said my name, I was done for. I couldn't help the words that flew from my mouth, not that I wanted to.

"I'm in love with you, Poe," I said desperately.


	15. Shiver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD
> 
> I decided to write smut, so if you don't like smut don't read ahead!

**Poe’s POV**

 

I walked to the door wondering who was hammering on it at 1 in the morning. Not that I had been asleep. I was too frustrated to sleep. I had too much on my mind. 

 

I opened the door to see Elly, soaking wet and looking very cold in just a tank top and jeans. Her bra was visible through the thin wet top and I swallowed hard.

 

“Elly? Wha...” I began but she cut me off.

 

“I’m in love with you, Poe,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to realize it, but I was afraid. Now I’m only afraid of a life without you.”

 

Her words hit me like a wave. My stomach twisted and my heart pounded hard, I was sure she could hear it. I had longed to hear her say those words, but I never thought she would say them.

 

—————————

 

**Elly’s POV**

 

Poe stood there staring at me in shock. Silence rang throughout the hallway, only interrupted by the sound of the rain pounding outside.

 

I began feeling self conscious. I was suddenly aware that I was freezing cold and very wet. I wish he would say something.

 

I opened my mouth to ask him if he was ok, when suddenly he grabbed my arm. He pulled me to him with force, and the next thing I knew he was kissing me hard.

 

I moaned at the feeling of his warm lips on my frozen ones. The sound seemed to entice him and he pulled me into his apartment, shoving the door closed behind us.

 

My lips parted and I felt his tongue twirl against my own. I grabbed onto him, desperate for more. He explored every inch of my mouth with his skillful tongue. It was only when I was gasping for breath did he break away.

 

“You’re shivering,” he said in a husky voice. “You must be freezing.”

 

“Not so much anymore,” I said.

 

“Did you mean it? What you said before?” Poe asked, his arms still around my waist.

 

“Yes,” I told him honestly. “Ever since we met the Force has been pulling me to you. I was stupid to ignore it.”

 

“You are the most stubborn woman I know,” he laughed. 

 

“So what about you?” I asked nervously, not daring to look up at him. “How do you feel....about me?”

 

Poe put his hand under my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. 

 

“Can’t you read my mind?” he asked.

 

“I was never really any good at that,” I said shaking my head. “I can only get certain emotions off people.”

 

“Well if you’d look, you’d feel how much I care about you,” Poe said softly. “I’ve been madly in love with you ever since I first kissed you. You’re the most important thing in the entire galaxy to me.”

 

My heart was racing. I could feel the need and the lust coming off of him and I knew he wasn’t lying.

 

I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down, capturing his lips with mine. He was mine. I was his. The force led me to him, and I wanted all of him.

 

He kissed me hungrily, and I pulled back quickly to remove my wet tank top.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked, surprised. 

 

“What does it look like?” I asked with a grin. 

 

His eyes raked over my body, and his expression grew dark and hungry. 

 

“We...you don’t have to do this,” Poe said.

 

I ignored him and slid out of my wet jeans as well.

 

“I want this. I want you,” I told him. 

 

That was all he needed. He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. He carried me into his bedroom and threw me on his bed before he climbed on top of me. 

 

His lips traveled over every inch of my skin, trailing from my neck down to my chest. His touch seemed to scorch my frozen skin and I couldn’t help but shiver. 

 

Poe grinned wickedly up at me, and a second later he expertly removed my bra. He groaned at the sight of my breasts and quickly took one into his mouth. I gasped at the sensation. I had never felt this way before. I was inexperienced when it came to sex, but Poe seemed to know that. I let him guide me. He took it very slow and always looked at me to make sure I was alright with what he was doing.

 

My body burned, craving more of him. I needed to feel him. I sat up and my mouth found his neck. I latched onto him, tasting his skin. I ran my hands along his firm back and around to his chiseled torso. He let me touch him as much as I wanted to. His breathing became ragged and my courage grew. I slipped my hand down his stomach and reached under the waistband of his pants.

 

His breath hitched as I gripped his already hard length. I had never done this before, but I wasn’t completely naive. I knew the logistics of sex. I began running my hand down his shaft and Poe let out a moan.

 

“Elly,” he said through clenched teeth. “If you want to stop, now would be the time to say so.”

 

“I told you,” I replied. “I want all of you.”

 

That was all the confirmation he needed. He attacked me, pinning me against the bed. He shimmied his pants off and I blushed at the sight of his impressive manhood.

 

His fingers hooked around the sides of my underwear and he slipped them off of me.

 

  
“Fuck, you are so beautiful,”he whispered, taking in my naked body.

 

His control seemed to be gone and replaced by utter desire. He spread my legs with his strong arms while kissing down the front of my stomach.

 

I gasped when he took my center into his mouth. Pleasure seared through every inch of me. I had never felt anything like it before. It was pure bliss. His tongue danced around me, and I couldn’t hold in the moan that escaped my lips.

 

I could feel how incredibly wet I was, only exacerbated by his mouth as well. I could feel myself build against his tongue and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer.

 

“Poe,” I moaned. “Poe…I’m so close,” I groaned.

 

“That’s it baby,” he said, his voice ragged with lust. “Come for me.”

 

I gasped as he thrust one long finger into me and that sent me over the edge.

  
I came hard, moaning loudly as pleasure racked through my body. I had never ever felt so good before. I was gasping for breath as I finally came down.

 

Poe immediately captured my mouth and I could taste myself on him. His length pressed up against my wet folds and I moaned again. I wondered if it would hurt.

 

“Let me know if it hurts too much,” Poe said. “I’ll stop.”

 

“Alright,” I whispered.

 

Poe placed a gentle kiss on my lips, and slowly, he sheathed himself inside me. At first, it did hurt a bit. My body wasn’t used to being filled this way. Poe was very gentle though. He waited a few moments for me to get acclimated to the feeling. He began moving slowly inside me, and it started hurting less and less.

 

Poe moaned low in his throat as I began moving against him. It started feeling incredible. One of his hands gripped my hip. My hands found the tense planes of his back, and my nails dug into his skin.

 

“Poe,” I moaned.

 

Moaning his name seemed to entice him further. His breath came in short ragged pants. His pace became faster, and I cried out as one of his large hand found my clit. I gasped, feeling myself slipping over the edge again. The feeling of him inside me and his quick strokes on my clit were too intense and I came violently, screaming into his shoulder.

 

He shuddered and moaned loudly, and I felt him come inside me. We both stopped, breathing erratically in the dim light. Poe placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, and he fell onto the bed beside me. He pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his chest.

 

“Was that…are you ok?” Poe asked me softly.

 

“I’m wonderful,” I said, unable to keep the smile from my face. “How about you?”

 

“Not bad,” he said with a chuckle. “I wasn’t too rough with you was I?”

 

“Nah…besides, I don’t think I’d mind it if you were rough with me,” I said cheekily.

 

“Oh really,” Poe smirked.

 

“Maybe next time,” I said shooting him a wink.

 

I snuggled into his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me. I breathed in the scent of him and I sighed.

 

“What is it?” he asked quickly.

 

“It’s just…. I’ve never felt more complete,” I said honestly. “It feels like I was missing a piece of me but I never knew it until now….Now I’m whole.”

 

Poe smiled down at me and kissed the top of my hair.

 

“I love you, Elly,” he said softly.

 

“I love you too Poe,” I replied.


	16. Torment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to thank you guys for commenting!! It really does make my day. I mean if I didn't know people enjoyed my stories I wouldn't have incentive to post them!
> 
> :))
> 
> You guys are wonderful.

I awoke to the sound of a communicator going off. I groaned and reached over to the bedside table to answer it, but the table wasn’t there. I blinked my eyes open and realized I wasn’t in my room. Instead, the sleeping form of Poe met my eyes.

 

Last nights events came rushing back to me and I blushed a little. My blush deepened when I realized I was still naked, as was Poe. The communicator kept beeping and finally Poe began to stir. He reached over to the table beside him and answered it.

 

“Yeah?” Poe mumbled into the communicator.

 

I watched him as he listened to whoever had called him. His hair was messy and his eyes were filled with sleep. He looked ridiculously adorable.

 

“Uh no, she’s actually right here,” Poe said, shooting me a grin. “Yeah, yeah…I’ll let her discuss that with you. Ok. We’ll be right there.”

 

He hung the communicator up and yawned.

 

“So who was that?” I asked.

 

“The General,” Poe answered. “She has a mission for me and she’d like to talk to you.”

 

“Oh no,” I groaned. “I guess we’ll have to tell her about us.”

 

“Did you want to keep it a secret?” Poe asked.

 

“Of course not,” I scoffed. “I just don’t know how to have this kind of talk with the only mother figure I’ve ever had.”

 

“You have fun with that,” Poe laughed.

 

He got up and I had a nice view of his ass.

 

“Gross,” I called. “Put some pants on.”

 

“Funny. Just last night you were practically ripping my pants off,” Poe smirked.

 

I got out of bed and he stopped smirking. A hungry expression reached his face as he watched me stretch. I caught his eye and I shook my head.

 

“Not now Commander,” I said. “Duty calls.”

 

“Mmm I like it when you call me Commander,” Poe said mischievously.

 

“Get your mind out of the gutter Commander,” I said with a wink. “Duty calls.”

I looked around for my clothes but found they were still soaking wet from the previous night.

 

“Damn,” I grumbled.

 

“Here, you can borrow some of my clothes,” Poe said, rummaging through his drawers. He threw a pair of grey sweatpants and a dark Tshirt at me. I slipped them both on. They swallowed me and Poe laughed.

 

“And so it begins,” he chuckled.

 

“What?” I asked confused.

 

“My girlfriend stealing all of my clothes,” he replied.

 

My heart skipped a beat. _Girlfriend…._ I liked the sound of that.

 

 

 

 

A little while later we both entered Leia’s chambers. She took one look at me and smirked, taking in my baggy clothes that clearly belonged to Poe. She briefed Poe on his mission. It was a simple one to Hosnian Prime. She wanted him to search the Archives there for information about Tekka.

 

He got all the information he needed and then turned to me.

 

“So… I’ll see you in a couple of days,” he said awkwardly.

 

“Yeah,” I replied, glancing at Leia who was smiling at us. “Um.. be safe okay?”

 

“Oh go ahead and kiss her Dameron,” Leia said waving him off. “Don’t hold back on my account.”

 

Poe shot her a wink and bent down, placing a soft kiss on my lips. I blushed furiously, knowing Leia was watching, but I kissed him back. He pulled back and shot me a wink.

 

“See you later General,” Poe said to Leia.

 

He left and Leia looked pointedly at me.

 

“So….. I’m guessing you two made up,” Leia said making tea for us both.

 

“Uh yeah,” I admitted. “Kind of.”

 

“ _Kind of_ ,” she chuckled. “I’m happy for you both. It’s comforting to see love still exists in this terrible time.”

 

“Never thought I would find it,” I said. “But the Force had other plans.”

 

“Sometimes it’s just meant to be,” she nodded. “Just don’t let this interfere with your work around here.”

 

“You know me,” I said. “I’m completely professional. It’s Poe you have to worry about.”

 

“That’s the honest truth,” Leia laughed.

 

 

 

A few weeks passed by on the base and life had completely changed for me. As soon as I admitted my love for Poe and we became a couple, everything seemed to fall into place. I spent a lot my time around Jess and Wexley when they were on base. Jess was ecstatic when she found out that Poe and I became a couple and Wexley just shrugged in a “I told you so” kind of manner.

 

I began spending every night with Poe. After a couple weeks of this, Poe suggested I just permanently stay with him in his apartment.

 

“Don’t you think that’s a little fast?” I asked.

 

“Not to me,” he shrugged. “I know I love you, and that’s not going to change. Besides I sleep better when you’re next to me.”

 

I slept better when I was with Poe as well, and I really had no reason not to agree, so I moved what little belongings I had into Poe’s room so someone else could take my quarters. It was lucky I had a contraception chip placed in me a few years ago. I didn’t think I’d actually be needing it, but it was standard procedure around the base. I had been steadily exploring intimacy with Poe and it had only gotten better and better.

 

People around the base seemed shocked when they spotted Poe and I stealing kisses around the base. The women shot me jealous glances, but they didn’t dare try anything. I was still a superior officer.

 

I did notice that I worried even more when Poe was away on missions. He said he worried too on the couple of runs I had to do off planet. Whenever he was gone for more than a couple of days, I hung out with Jess or Leia as much as I could to take my mind off him. It didn’t work, but their company did help.

 

One day, Poe was off on an extended mission when Leia called me into the Communications chamber.

 

“Captain Rayne,” she greeted me formally. There were other officers in the room as well.

 

“General,” I said. “You needed to speak with me?”

 

“Yes. I just received a distress transmission from an old friend. His name is Nile Hvark, and he’s been doing research on Ravosk for the past few years. Apparently his ship broke down and he’s stranded on the planet and he needs a ride off,” the General said.

 

“Need me to go pick him up?” I asked with a grin.

 

“If you don’t mind. I know you’ve been itching to get off planet and I can’t see how you can get yourself into trouble with this,” Leia said.

 

“I’m sure I’ll find a way,” I said rolling my eyes.

 

“Be careful out there Rayne,” she warned me.

 

“Yeah yeah,” I said. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

I returned to mine and Poe’s room and got dressed into my flight suit. I tucked my lightsaber into the pocket. Ever since Tokodana, I had been carrying it around with me whenever I left D’Qar. It comforted me, knowing it was close.

 

I looked around the room and sighed. I wished Poe was here. The base felt so empty without him. At least this trip would provide a quick distraction.

 

Soon enough I was in my ship and on my way to Rayosk. It wasn’t too far away and I made the trip in a couple of hours. The planet was a forest planet, prone to frequent rainstorms and downpours. You couldn’t step anywhere on the planet without your feet sinking a little in the thick mud.

 

Indeed, when I left the ship I was very thankful I was wearing my boots as mud squelched around me. I made my way over to the little base where Nile Hvark was supposed to be stationed at. It was literally just a little hut stationed in the middle of the forest.

 

I knocked on the door, and waited. No one answered.

 

“Professor Hvark?” I called through the door. “I’m Laera Rayne. General Organa sent me.”

 

Still no reply. Hoping he didn’t startle too easy, I pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was dark inside and my eyes had a hard time adjusting. There was a little kitchen area inside and a large table that was riddled with paperwork and books. In the corner was a little bed and I saw a form laying on it.

 

I crossed the room and touched the sleeping figure.

 

“Professor?” I called softly.

 

As soon as my fingers touched the figure I knew something was wrong. I turned him and realized there was no life left in this older man. A large scorch mark decorated his torso. I knew that mark very well. It had been done by a light saber.

 

I stood up, fully alert. I knew I had to make it back to my ship. I only hoped that the person responsible for this was long gone from the planet.

 

I stepped back outside, blinking in the light filtering through the forest. I made my way quickly through the trees towards my ship. I had nearly made it, when I felt a presence behind me. A presence I had not felt in years. I shut my eyes as I was consumed with an overwhelming sense of sorrow.

 

“It’s been a long time, Ben,” I said slowly.

 

I turned to see the hulking figure of Kylo Ren standing there amidst the trees. He was in all black, his cape billowing around him. I knew he had to be hot in all that garb. He was wearing the mask that had become infamous. I didn’t know whether that comforted me or despaired me.

 

“You are supposed to be dead,” he said, his voice distorted by the helmet.

 

“Sorry to disappoint,” I retorted.

 

He stared at me in silence for another moment.

 

“I heard rumors of a Jedi with a purple saber,” he said emotionlessly. “I knew it had to be you.”

 

“I think we can both agree I’m no Jedi,” I said with a grimace. “Take the mask off.”

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

“It’s been a long time. I’d like to see what you have become,” I said simply.

 

He hesitated, but he complied. He reached around the helmet and released the latch. With one swift move, he took the helmet off and held it down by his side.

 

He looked so much like how I remembered him. His hair was a little longer, billowing in soft waves around his face. He still had the strong nose, full lips, pale skin I had remembered. But his eyes….they were different. They were tormented.

 

“I’d say it’s good to see you, but it only brings pain to my heart,” I said, trying to keep the pain from my voice.

 

“I see you joined my mother in her ridiculous crusade,” Ben said, eyeing my orange flight suit.

 

“Better than the alternative,” I replied coldly. “She misses you, you know.”

 

“Enough,” he called, and I heard anger in his voice. “I’ll give you a chance Elly, for old times sake. Join me. Together, we would be unstoppable.”

 

“Sorry Solo,” I said with a smirk. “The First Order is a little too tyrannical for my taste.”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Ben spat angrily. “Ben Solo is gone.”

 

“Not gone,” I argued. “Merely lost.”

 

“You are a fool,” he said shortly. “Just as he was.”

 

“Perhaps,” I said mockingly. “But at least I know who I am. I can feel the struggle within you. You still feel the call to the light.”

 

“ENOUGH!” he barked, igniting his saber.

 

“I liked the old saber better,” I commented. “Red is not really your color, Solo.”

 

“I SAID STOP CALLING ME THAT!” he screamed, swinging the saber in my direction.

 

With a quick maneuver, I ignited my own saber and deflected the stroke.

 

“Good to see you still remember the old days,” I said with a smirk.

 

“You never could beat me then,” he said gritting his teeth. “And you won’t now.”

 

“You never know,” I said with a shrug and I attacked.

 

He had become immensely stronger in the years we spent apart. He moved with incredible speed and strength. But he was blind in his own anger, and he made several foolish moves. I managed to punch him in the jaw while I held off his saber with the other hand.

 

He grunted and spat blood. The sight of his own blood seemed to enrage him further.

 

“You always were a sore loser,” I mocked.

 

I know I shouldn’t tease him when he could easily kill me, but I too was lost in my own anger and despair. The man in front of me took everything from me. He alone was responsible for causing me and so many others horrible pain.

 

His attacks kept coming stronger and stronger. It was all I could do to parry and block each stroke of his saber with my own. He swung his sword and I dodged at the last second, but his saber cut into my arm.

 

I screamed as horrible pain seared down my arm. My blood began to flow freely, spattering the mud and leaves around us. I blocked his next attack, but he struck me hard across the face with his free hand. My world darkened for a moment and I saw stars. Pain radiated through every inch of me. My saber flew from my grip and landed several feet away in the mud.

 

Ben lifted me up with one hand around my neck and I struggled to breath. I had lost too much blood, and the blow to the head wasn’t helping. The world swam before my eyes, and I knew I was finished.

 

“Words seemed to fail you now,” Ben said, his voice an angry growl.

 

I gasped and coughed. I only knew one thing to say.

 

“Hap…Happy Birthday Ben,” I choked.

 

He threw me to the ground with an angry snarl. He lifted his saber high above his head and I knew this was it.

 

I shut my eyes and thought of Poe. He was going to be so crushed. We had such a short time together. I wished I could have seen him one last time. I wished I could really tell him how much I loved him.

 

I waited for the blow to end my life, but it never came. I opened my eyes and lifted my head, but Ben was gone. He had just disappeared. I grinned to myself before falling back into the mud.

 

“See you around Solo,” I whispered, and the world turned black.


	17. Heal

The world was black and dense. I was lost in the void. I could feel that I was still alive, but I couldn’t seem to feel anything else. I was just swimming in inky darkness.

 

Suddenly a voice reached my ears. Muffled and jumbled at first, but the words seemed to clear when I concentrated.

 

“…on. I need to you to wake up,” the voice said.

 

Wake up? I wasn’t asleep. I was floating in the dark.

 

“It’s too quiet without you here Rayne,” the voice said again.

 

It was Poe. I struggled trying to locate him. Suddenly, a light shone through the dark. My eyes blinked a few times, and a blurry room came into view. It took me a few minutes to focus on what I was seeing.

 

I was in the infirmary on D’Qar. I recognized the old off-grey walls and the various machines. More importantly, I recognized the hand that was clutching onto mine.

 

“Elly!” Poe gasped, seeing my eyes open and trained on him. “Oh thank the Force. We weren’t sure you were going to wake up.”

 

“Poe?” I croaked.

 

I coughed and Poe quickly got me a cup of water. He tilted it against my lips and I sipped carefully. It felt wonderful sliding down my dry throat.

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked me, setting the cup down.

 

He looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked as if he hadn’t shaved in several days.

 

“Never better,” I lied. In all honesty, my right arm was killing me. “What about you? You look terrible.”

 

“Ouch,” Poe smirked. “My pride.”

 

I chuckled before looking down at my body. I was wearing a thin white cotton nightdress. About a hundred questions raced through my mind.

 

“How long have I been here?” I asked.

 

“About a week,” Poe answered, still holding on tightly to my left hand. “You scared the hell out of me, Elly. I thought you’d never wake up. I thought….I thought I was going to lose you.”

 

I was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

 

“Hey. It’s alright,” I said soothingly. “It takes more than a little whack on the arm to kill me.”

 

“It was more than a ‘little whack’, Elly,” Poe said, sounding almost angry. “Your right arm was nearly severed when I found you. You lost so much blood…”

 

“Wait…you found me?” I asked, shocked.

 

“Yeah. We picked up your distress signal,” he said. “I was closest to your location, so I answered it.”

 

“Distress signal?” I asked confused.

 

“You didn’t send a signal?” Poe asked.

 

“No…it must have been Ben,” I said softly.

 

“Ben? You mean Kylo Ren?”

 

“Yeah….he’s the one who did this,” I said gesturing to my arm.

 

“So he nearly killed you, but then sent a distress signal out for you?” Poe asked.

 

“Looks like it,” I said shrugging. I immediately regretted it as pain shot down my right arm.

 

“Careful!” Poe warned me, looking concerned. “You’re still in bad shape. Along with nearly taking your right arm off, you had a bad concussion and a hell of a lot of bruises.”

 

“I bet I look awesome,” I sighed.

 

“You look beautiful, like always,” Poe said softly. “I…I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t woken up.”

 

Poe leaned over and kissed me softly on the forehead.

 

“Sorry to interrupt,” a voice sounded from the doorway.

 

We broke apart and saw Leia standing in the doorway. She had a gentle smile on her face.

 

“Elly,” she said. “I am so glad to see you’re awake.”

 

She took a chair next to Poe and patted me gently on the leg.

“I’m guessing you need to know what happened,” I said.

 

“If you’re up to it,” she nodded.

 

I told them everything, from finding Professor Hvark’s body, to my encounter with Kylo Ren. Leia’s face grew more and more somber. When I was finished, there were tears in her eyes.

 

“He could have killed me, Leia,” I said softly. “He had the opportunity, but he didn’t. He even sent out the distress signal, giving you my location. There’s still good in him somewhere, I know it.”

 

“Thank you, Elly,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry…”

 

“Don’t,” I interrupted her. “This is in no way your fault.”

 

“Still….I can’t help but feel I’m to blame. I sent you out there. I….” she said heavily.

 

“I knew the risks,” I said. “And I accepted them. I’m alive, I’m fine. So let’s not dwell on what could have happened.”

 

She nodded and smiled weakly at me. “You’re right. Let’s just focus on getting you healed.”

 

“Speaking of which, when can I get out of here?” I asked.

 

“You’re still badly hurt,” Poe told me. “It will be a few days until you can leave. And then probably a couple weeks before you’re back to normal.”

 

“Great,” I groaned.

 

“Look on the bright side,” Leia said with a grin. “You don’t have to hide who you are anymore. Ben knows your alive and working with the Resistance, so there’s no point in pretending you’re Laera anymore.”

 

“I guess that’s true,” I replied.

 

“I always did like ‘Elly’ better,” Poe grinned.

 

* * *

 

Poe stayed with me the next couple of days. Apparently he hadn’t left the infirmary the entire time I had been there. It was all I could do to convince him to leave for a couple of hours to shower and get himself some food. I was touched by his concern for me, but I didn’t want him to stop taking care of his own needs.

 

Through the wonderful power of Bactagel, my arm healed enough for the doctor to feel comfortable enough for me to leave the infirmary. But he told me strictly not to overdo it and that I shouldn’t do any strenuous activities for the next couple of weeks. I rolled my eyes at this news, but Poe told the doctor he would make sure I followed orders.

 

Poe seemed to have taken some leave from off world missions while my arm healed. I argued this, telling him that I was capable of taking care of myself and he shouldn’t put his life on hold for me, but he ignored me.

 

“I almost lost you,” he said sternly. “Let me take care of you for a while, for my own peace of mind.”

 

I had to admit, it was nice having him around. Every night we cuddled up together and I slept soundly in his arms. Every morning I woke up to his kisses upon my lips. I had never felt so at peace.

 

I regained use of my arm slowly, through much physical therapy and my own sheer will. It was a painful process, but I was able to pick up light objects now. Of course Poe wouldn’t let me do anything too strenuous, and that included sex. I pouted at first, but he just said that it was more motivation to heal faster.

 

One evening, I had just gotten out of the shower when I stopped to look at myself in the mirror. There was a nasty scar running along my shoulder where Ben’s lightsaber cut into my skin. It was jagged and raised, running from the top of my shoulder down to the top of my breast. I frowned at it.

 

“What’s got you looking so depressed?” Poe asked, coming up behind me.

 

“This scar. It’s ugly,” I said shortly.

 

“No it’s not,” Poe said running his fingers lightly over the raised area. “It’s beautiful. It means you went up against death, and won. It means you came back to me.”

 

He kissed me lightly on the back of my shoulder. I suddenly remembered I was still naked from the shower. I turned and reached up to kiss him.

 

He returned the kiss, painfully gently. I tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away.

 

“We can’t Elly,” he said, though it looked like he was having a hard time saying no. “You need to heal.”

 

“I’m healed enough,” I argued. “Seriously. I can move it around and everything.”

 

“Elly…” Poe began.

 

“Come on,” I said seductively. “Don’t you want me?”

 

“Of course I do,” he groaned. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

 

I began trailing kisses down his neck.

 

“We’ll be careful,” I said softly.

 

I captured his lips again and slid my hands down his chest, stopping as they met his belt buckle. He captured my hands with his, warning me not to go any lower. I grinned mischievously and used the force to undo his belt.

 

“No fair,” he chuckled. “You heard what the doctor said, no strenuous activities.”

 

I pouted, sticking my lower lip out. He sighed, but then he swooped down and picked me up bridal style.

 

“Fine,” he said, taking me into the bedroom. “But no rough stuff.”

 

* * *

 

After, we were both laying there in bed, sweaty and content. My head was in the crook of Poe’s shoulder and I was using the force to make his little models of starfighters fly around the room for our amusement.

 

“I want you to meet my father,” Poe said suddenly.

 

I dropped the models.

 

“Wh..what?” I asked surprised.

 

“I’ve got a few days left on my leave of absence,” Poe said, stroking my long hair. “I want to take you to Yavin 4 to meet my dad.”

 

“You want me to meet your father….” I said slowly. I had never imagined I’d be meeting my boyfriends father. It had just never even came into my mind. The thought alone made me nervous as hell.

 

“Don’t worry,” Poe said. “He’ll love you. He’s always telling me how I should settle down with a nice girl. I think he’s going to flip when he meets you.”

 

“So you’re settling down with me?” I grinned at him.

 

“Afraid so,” he replied. “You’re stuck with me, kid.”

 

“You know, that’s kind of weird….callin me kid when we’re naked in bed together,” I laughed.

 

He laughed too and he kissed me lightly on the top of the head.

 

“So will you come? It would mean a lot to me,” Poe asked again.

 

“Of course I will,” I replied with a smile.

 

I wondered briefly how Mr. Dameron felt about his son dating an ex Jedi who was probably up there next to Luke Skywalker on the First Order Kill List. Oh well, I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.


	18. Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while! I've been super sick :( 
> 
> THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE COMMENTED AND KUDOSed THIS STORY!! Seriously, i absolutely love reading your comments! 
> 
> <3 <3
> 
> I hope you like where the story is going. We are coming up on the events of The Force Awakens :)

Yavin 4 was a jungle moon. Its massive continents were broken by only 2 small seas. It once hosted the beginnings of the Rebel Alliance, but now it was a peaceful little planet with several large colonies. It was on the outskirts of one of these colonies where Kes Dameron resided.

 

We landed in a little clearing in the middle of the dense foliage. The clearing was large enough to house a starship, a small home, an outbuilding, and a great tree. As soon as my eyes found this tree, I knew it was force sensitive. But I’d have to investigate it later. We disembarked and a man emerged from the house.

 

“Hey dad,” Poe called, a huge smile on his face.

 

“Poe!” the man greeted him ecstatically. “What in the name of Kriff are you doing here?!”

 

Poe ran up to him and gave the older man a huge hug, one that his father returned with enthusiasm. I smiled at the two and wondered how long it had been since they had seen each other.

 

Kes Dameron looked a lot like Poe. He had the same thick dark hair (though it was greying in some spots), tan skin, and kind eyes. He noticed me and looked up with great interest.

 

“And you’ve brought company!” Mr. Dameron said.

 

“Yeah, sorry,” Poe said breaking away and placing an arm around my shoulder. “Dad, this is my girlfriend Captain Elly Rayne.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Dameron,” I said, holding out a hand to shake.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” Mr. Dameron exclaimed, and he grabbed me and embraced me in a tight hug. “You are very welcome here Elly! Poe has never brought home a girl before!”

 

“Jeez dad, tone it down a bit,” Poe muttered embarrassed.

 

Mr. Dameron released me and looked me over. I could feel my cheeks going red.

 

“And you’re beautiful! You do know you could do better than my boy now don’t you?” Mr. Dameron said, but I could tell he was teasing.

 

“I can see where Poe gets his charm,” I said with a laugh. “And his good looks. Poe, you never told me you were the spitting image of your father.”

 

“All but the smile,” Mr. Dameron said. “He got his mother’s smile. But come in, come in! I’m sure you’re both hungry after the trip over here.”

 

We entered the little house. It had only two bedrooms, a cozy little living room, and a kitchen the size of our bathroom back on the base. But all along the walls were pictures of their little family. The house looked like it had seen a lot of love throughout the years.

 

Mr. Dameron poured us some drinks and we sat around his little kitchen table.

 

“So, Mr. Dameron….how long has it been since you’ve seen Poe?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

 

“Please, call me Kes,” he said. “And its been what…..3 years?”

 

Poe nodded.

 

“I’ve been meaning to come by but…..well you know how it is,” Poe said sheepishly.

 

“That I do,” Kes said nodding. “Poe’s mother and I were both in the Rebel Alliance. We would go weeks without seeing each other. I’m just glad we were able to settle down here together, at least for a while.”

 

“Poe told me you were a sergeant?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, I was a member of the Pathfinders. We were the one’s who took down the second Death Star’s shield generators on Endor,” he replied.

 

“Oh, you were led by Han,” I said in surprise.

 

“You know Han?” Kes asked excitedly.

 

“Yeah, I’ve met him a few times over the years,” I replied.

 

We spent the next hour talking and trading old war stories. Kes seemed to thoroughly enjoy my company, even when we told him I was a force user. He seemed to be impressed. Apparently he used to have good relations with Luke Skywalker. Luke had even given Shara Bey the twig that had grown into the force sensitive tree outside.

 

Eventually, Kes decided to start making dinner for us, and Poe and I ventured off to his old room. Kes had kept the room exactly as Poe had left it. It was messy, much like our apartment back on base. On one wall was a huge poster with the Rebel Alliance symbol on it. The little desk was littered with old drawings of A-wings and on his bedside table was a photograph of a toddler and what looked to be his mother.

 

Poe had been an adorable child. I smiled looking at the boy who was staring up at his mother with love in his eyes. His mother was beautiful, that was for certain. She had long brown hair, dark tan skin, and a kind smile….Poe’s smile.

 

“You do have you’re mother’s smile,” I said, putting the picture back.

 

“So I’ve been told,” Poe said standing very close to me. “I’m sorry the bed is so small.”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to cuddle,” I said with a grin.

 

“Remind me to thank my dad for never getting me a bigger bed,” he said with a laugh.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, Poe and I ventured back outside to enjoy the cool night air. He took my hand and walked me over to the great tree. It towered over us, it’s white blossoms shining in the moonlight.

 

“They planted this thing when I was just a baby,” Poe said staring up at the large tree.

 

“I’ve never seen a force sensitive tree before,” I said in awe. “The Empire nearly destroyed them all. It’s said that the old Jedi used to communicate with the force using these trees. These trees helped them see more clearly into the future.”

 

“Well now I feel bad,” Poe said, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

“Uh..once when I was a kid….I sort of accidentally singed half the tree,” Poe said sheepishly. “My parents were so pissed. They made me nurse the tree back to health. It took over a year.”

 

“You are such a troublemaker,” I said laughing.

 

“Oh yeah?” Poe said mischievously. “Funny you should say that, I’m in the mood for some trouble right now.”

 

I grinned at me before he pounced, tickling my sides in earnest. I laughed and struggled out of his grasp. This led to a silly chase around the tree. Finally I fell back on the soft grass and he fell next to me. We stared up at the night sky. There were so many stars and colors…it was breathtaking and familiar.

 

Poe leaned over me on his elbow and I suddenly had déjà vu. This was the vision the Force had shown me the first time we kissed. I smiled, knowing what was to come, glad I was no longer terrified.

 

Poe placed a gentle kiss on my lips, one I returned in earnest. He leaned back and stared down into my eyes.

 

“I love you,” he whispered.

 

“I love you too,” I whispered back, and I brought his lips down onto mine once more.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe’s POV

 

Elly had gone to bed before me. She was being discreet, but I think she wanted to give me and dad some alone time. Dad and I sat in the living room, both of us nursing a glass of whiskey. I caught him up on what I had been up to, how my missions were going, and how the war was overall. Of course there were parts I wasn’t allowed to tell him, but he understood. As the night drew on, the talk turned to my relationship with Elly.

 

“You two seem to be serious about each other,” Dad said with a grin.

 

“We are,” I replied. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I really do love her. Elly says the Force brought us together…that we were meant to be. I don’t know much the Force, but I can feel that she’s right.”

 

Dad gave me a smile before suddenly standing up. He grabbed a little box off the mantle, and turned towards me.

 

“Your mother would be so proud of you, son,” he said thickly. “And I know she’d want you to have this.”

 

I took the box he handed me and opened it to see my mom’s ring. It was a silver band, with a large shimmering stone set in the center. Surrounding the main stone was several smaller stones that encased it. It was a beautiful ring. I remembered how it shined on my mother’s finger when she wore it.

 

“Dad…” I began. “I…I can’t take this.”

 

“Yes you can,” he said sternly. “You can give it to that girl of yours. She’s right for you and we both know it.”

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready,” I said honestly. “Besides, we’re sort of in the middle of a war. I don’t think now is the right time to get married.”

 

“Why not?” Dad shrugged. “Your mother and I got married during our war. Best decision I ever made. But I’m not trying to force you into marriage. You do it when it feels right. I just want you to keep that ring so you’ll have it when the time is right.”

 

“Thanks, Dad,” I said, standing up to embrace him in a hug.

 

* * *

 

Elly's POV

 

Something jolted me out of the comfortable slumber I had been in. Poe’s warmth was wrapped around my back, one hand trailed across my hip. We had to snuggle to fit on the bed, a condition that neither of us complained about. I could hear his steady breathing behind me and I knew he was fast asleep. It was still quite dark outside, I wasn’t sure why I was awake.

  
Suddenly, I felt the Force pulling me, telling me to go outside. After years of listening to the Force, I knew it was best not to ignore it. I stood quietly, being careful to not wake up Poe. I slid on a pair of Poe’s old sweatpants, Poe’s jacket and my boots.

 

I crept out of the room and down the little hallway. Poe’s dad must have been asleep as well as there was no sign of him. As quietly as I could, I opened the door and stepped out into the night air. The Force pulled me forwards, towards the Force tree. I walked quickly over to it. It’s white blossoms shone down on me. I stared up at it, wondering why I was out here in the middle of the night. I placed my hand on the thick trunk and suddenly, the world went dark.

 

_The sounds of women and children screaming reached my ears, followed by the scent of smoke. There were huts burning around me. The First Order was destroying the little village. Storm troopers were raiding everything, blasting men out of their way, and corralling the women and children into a circle. One of the storm troopers had a smear of blood on his helmet in the shape of a handprint._

_Suddenly I saw him…Poe. He held a blaster and was fighting off the stormtroopers. His ship had been destroyed. He aimed for a tall dark figure….Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren shot a hand out and stopped the blast in midair._

_I screamed for Poe to run, but he couldn’t hear me. Kylo froze Poe with the Force, and two stormtroopers captured him. They brought him before their leader, on his knees. I knew Kylo would never let a member of the Resistance live. I screamed, begging him to hear me. Begging anyone to hear me. But no one could._

“Elly!” a voice shouted. Someone was shaking me.

 

I opened my eyes and gasped. Poe was standing over me his hands on my shoulders, looking concerned.

 

“What happened?” Poe asked at once. “Why are you out here?”

 

“I…I felt the Force calling to me,” I said sitting up slowly. My stomach turned. “I touched the tree….and I had a vision.”

 

“A vision?” he asked. “Of what?”

 

“A village on fire… Kylo Ren was there…and they captured you,” I said, tears beginning to fall down my face. “No one could hear me. I couldn’t get to you. It was awful.”

 

“Hey, its okay,” he said, bringing me to his chest. I sobbed into his shirt and he stroked my hair. “Don’t worry. It was just a dream.”

 

“Not a dream,” I moaned. “A vision.”

 

“Well do all visions come true?” he asked me.

 

“No…not always. The future is fluid. It can change at any time,” I told him.

 

“Well there you go,” he said with a half smile. “I’ll just make sure I don’t get myself captured.”

 

“But what if it comes true?” I pleaded with him. “What if they take you and I can’t get to you? I can’t lose you Poe. It would tear my soul in half.”

 

“Look at me,” he said suddenly serious. He lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “I will always, ALWAYS come back to you. I promise. Do you understand?”

 

I nodded and he placed a soft kiss on my lips. He pulled back and helped me stand up.

 

“Let’s get you inside,” he said.

 

We began walking towards the house when suddenly my stomach turned again. I ducked away from Poe just in time as my dinner came up in some bushes. I felt Poe patting my back soothingly as I retched. Finally, it stopped and my stomach was empty.

 

“You okay?” he asked worriedly.

 

“Yeah…I’ll be ok. Must be some kind of effect from the vision,” I said dismissively.   


He nodded and helped me back into the house. For some reason, I couldn’t let go of the little knot of worry that had placed itself in my heart.


	19. Dizzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I haven't added much smut into this story, because I don't know if you guys like to read it or not. I may go back and add a few chapter of smut later on, but we'll see.
> 
> A HUGE thanks to all you lovely people. I wouldn't write if it weren't for you. <3  
> I sincerely hope you enjoy the direction the story is going. The events from The Force Awakens will follow.

The next day we departed back to the base. Kes was sad to see his son go, but he understood and took it in grace.

 

“You let me know if he’s not behaving himself,” Kes said as he embraced me in a warm hug. “I’ll be sure to set him straight.”

 

I laughed and promised I’d keep an eye on him. An easy promise to make as I already kept both my eyes on him most of the time. Poe hugged his dad and promised to contact him when he could. A few tearful moments later and we were back in the ship and headed towards base.

 

Poe’s leave of absence had run its course and it was back to work for him. At least he got to stay on planet for a while. He was tasked with running drills for some of the rookie pilots. Meanwhile, I had convinced Leia my arm was healed enough for me to at least go back on repair duty. I might not really repair duty, but it was a hell of a lot better than laying around feeling useless. And since I was back to work, Poe too was convinced that I was healed well enough, meaning he indulged me at night…every night.

 

I was happy in this routine of things. Waking up to him each morning, dining with him, going our separate ways for work every day, then meeting back in the evening for some very enjoyable moments. It was bliss that I had never known before. I would have said it was perfect, except every night I would have the same nightmares…well the same vision as when I had touched the Force tree.

 

Images of Poe getting captured by Kylo Ren, the village on fire, a few flashes of Poe screaming in pain…every single night it jolted me awake with a scream of my own. Poe always knew when I was having a nightmare. He said I twitched and thrashed around and called out his name. I was grateful I had him to hold onto after each episode.

 

Several weeks after we had returned to base, I was fixing up an old freighter that had decided to break down. It was tedious work, long boring and painfully monotonous. Luckily I had company. Poe hadn’t needed BB-8 for his drill practices, so the little droid decided to stick with me. He had really taken a liking to me, almost as much as his master. He was quite useful too.

 

“Alright BB-8,” I said wiping sweat from my brow. “See if you can fuse these circuits in this panel for me.”

 

The droid beeped happily back at me and went to work. I could see each circuit light up as he began powering the panel. It looked like it was working great….until it exploded in a shower of sparks.

 

“Damnit!” I cried in frustration.

 

BB-8 beeped his apology.

 

“No, it’s not your fault BB-8. It’s this stubborn old wiring,” I amended quickly. “You’re doing a great job.”

 

I bent down and took a closer look at the paneling. It was fried. I sighed, knowing I would have to rewire the whole thing. I went to work on it, when suddenly a wave of dizziness swept over me. I dropped the tool I was carrying and fell back onto my butt. BB-8 beeped worriedly at me.

 

“No…No I’m fine. I just got really dizzy. Probably just dehydration,” I said, struggling to get each word out.

 

I tried standing up, but my vision began to grow dark.

 

“BB-8..get someone!” I gasped.

 

I fell back down instantly. I heard the droid beeping frantically, but the world faded from view.

 

 

POE’s Pov

 

 

I had just finished up my drills for the day and was climbing out of my X-wing when I heard a familiar beeping on the hangar.

 

“Hey buddy, what’s going on?” I asked, bending down to greet him.

 

He beeped frantically up at me, clearly worried and scared.

 

“What?! Where is she?” I exclaimed.

 

The droid began rolling away and I ran after him. I ran clear across the huge hangar to where some of the broken down freighters and starfighters were, ignoring the strange looks I got from people as I passed them. BB-8 showed me into a beat up looking freighter and my heart dropped. Elly was unconscious on the floor near a panel she had been working on.

 

I quickly dropped to my knees by her, shaking her gently awake.

 

“Hey,” I said softly. “Elly. Elly wake up.”

 

Slowly her eyes blinked open and she looked around confused at me.

 

“Hey kid,” I said. “What happened? Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah….I passed out,” she said slowly.

 

“I can see that,” I said, helping her sit up. “You need to go to the infirmary.”

 

“No…I need to see the General,” she said suddenly.

 

She tried to stand up, but her knees buckled. I caught her quickly and lifted her into my arms.

 

“No, you need a doctor,” I said sternly.

 

“No Poe, listen,” she protested. “I know where Lor San Tekka is.”

 

 

Elly’s POV

 

“And you’re sure that this wasn’t a dream?” Leia asked me thoughtfully.

 

“I can tell the difference between a dream and a Force vision,” I protested. “Trust me Leia. The Force was showing me where he went. He’s on Jakku, I swear.”

 

Leia thought for a moment.

 

“Did you see anything else?” she asked me.

 

I looked away quickly.

 

“Yeah…the uh…the First Order is looking for him too,” I said. “I saw Ben talking to someone about finding him. I don’t know if they know where he is yet or not.”

 

Leia considered this information.

 

“Well then we need to get to Tekka before the First Order does,” she said firmly. “Dameron, this needs to be a covert mission. I’m trusting you alone with this mission.”

 

“Of course, General,” Poe said. “I’ll leave immediately.”

 

“No!” I exclaimed, causing both of them to stare at me in surprise. “You do remember the vision I’ve been having every night now for a week?”

 

“Elly, this has to be done,” Poe argued. “We don’t know what you’ve been seeing is completely certain. You said it yourself, the future changes all the time.”

 

“At least let me go with you,” I said struggling to get up from the chair Poe had placed me in. I was still a bit wobbly.

 

“No, you are going to the infirmary to be evaluated,” Leia said strictly.

 

I opened my mouth to argue but was cut off abruptly.

 

“No arguing this Rayne,” Leia said firmly. “You’ll just need to trust that Commander Dameron can do his job. I’ll let you say goodbye, but then you are to report immediately to the infirmary.”

 

There was no point in arguing with the stubborn woman. She was the General, and I was a captain. I had to follow her rules, even if I didn’t like them.

 

“Dameron, meet me in the Command Center after you say your goodbye,” Leia said. “We’ll go over what needs to be done.”

 

“Alright General,” he said, and she turned and left the room.

 

“I don’t like this,” I said immediately.

 

“I know,” Poe said with a sigh. “But you know how important this could be for the Resistance. Tekka is the only one who knows where Luke is. We have to find him”

 

“But why you?” I protested.

 

“Because I’m the best,” Poe said with a cocky smile.

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

“You better be able to back that up,” I said. “I don’t want to see you get hurt….or worse.”

 

“Hey, remember what I promised you,” Poe said, placing a hand on my cheek. “I will always come back to you. Even if I have to blow up the entire First Order.”

 

I chuckled softly. Poe bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

 

“Hurry back,” I said when we broke away.

 

“I will. And you figure out what’s going on with you,” Poe commanded me. “I want you back in perfect health when I get back.”

 

“I’ll work on that,” I said with a smirk.

 

We kissed again, and then he was off. I could tell with the knot forming in my stomach that something wasn’t right….but there was nothing I could do to stop him. I made my way down to the infirmary on weak legs. The doctor there as a kind woman named Dr. Neera.

 

“Back again?” she asked when I walked in. “Problems with your arm?”

 

“No,” I said shaking my head. “I uh…passed out and I’ve been feeling kind of week and nauseas. The General ordered me to get evaluated.”

 

“I see,” she said. “Sit down here on this bed and we’ll run some tests.”

 

I sat down, feeling this was completely unnecessary. Honestly, I was betting it was just dehydration or something. She began by asking me a series of questions and checking my pulse and everything. She also decided to draw a little blood just to make sure everything was all good.

 

I sat in the bed while she ran the blood under a series of tests, wondering if Poe had left by now. I was so incredibly worried about him. I really wished Leia would have let me accompany him.

 

The doctor walked back to me and sat down on a chair beside my bed.

 

“Well…have I caught some weird disease or do I just need to drink more water while I’m working?” I asked with a small smirk.

 

She shook her head and looked at me carefully.

 

“Captain…it seems you’re pregnant,” she said matter of factly.

 

I sat there stunned for several long minutes.

 

“Captain…do you understand what I told you?” she asked me slowly.

 

I shook my head slowly.

 

“N…No. There’s some mistake. I have a contraception chip,” I explained quickly.

 

She stood up, holding some sort of scanner.

 

“Which arm was it in?” she asked.

 

I pointed to my right arm. She scanned it with the scanner and the machine beeped back at her.

 

“Ah….just as I assumed,” she said awkwardly. “It seems it was ahh…..damaged when you sustained your injuries.”

 

“Damaged?!” I exclaimed.

 

“It’s uh…it was destroyed,” she said.

 

“Are…are you absolutely sure?” I asked desperately.

 

“Positive,” she answered me looking sympathetic. “You’re about 6 weeks along.”

 

I sat there in the room for longer than was necessary, processing the information. I vaguely heard the doctor explain that the reason for my dizziness was because my body wasn’t getting vital nutrients it needed during this time. I didn’t even feel the stick of the needle as she injected me with solution of vitamins and essential nutrients. Dr. Neera seemed to understand that I needed some time to think on my own, so she told me I could leave whenever I wanted and she left the room.

 

I sat there for probably an hour….maybe more. I couldn’t tell. Time had no meaning. All I could think about was the fact that there was a life growing inside me. Poe’s child. My child. I was soooooo not ready for this. This was the worst timing imaginable. But a little voice in the back of my mind whispered this was what was meant to happen. This was my destiny. This is was _our_ destiny.

 

I wondered how Poe would react. Kriff….how was I going to tell him?

 

I finally got the courage to leave the infirmary and wandered aimlessly out onto the base. I didn’t know where I should go. Luckily, a voice called out to me.

 

“Elly!” General Organa called from the doorway of the Communications Chamber. “Come here for a moment.”

 

I made my way towards her, noticing her face looked grim.

 

“Are you alright?” she asked me, studying my features.

 

“Yeah…I’m fine,” I said trying to put on a straight face and failing miserably. “Did you need something General?”

 

She studied me again and sighed heavily. Suddenly she looked much older than she usually did.

 

“There’s no easy way to tell you this so I’m just going to be straight with you,” she said gravely. “We’ve lost contact with Poe.”


	20. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY THE FORCE AWAKENS!  
> To be honest, enjoyed the force awakens much much more than the last jedi.  
> But I digress.
> 
> Here's a new chapter  
> :)  
> ENJOY.

Poe’s POV

 

 

I landed on the desert planet without any incident. This planet was really out in the middle of nowhere, on the outskirts of the outer rim. Though it was night, the air still held the promise of heat from the day’s battering of the close sun. I had parked my ship a little ways away from the little village Elly had seen. I was pretty sure none of these people had ever seen an X-wing before. Best to be inconspicuous.

 

The village was small, just a few shabby huts surrounded in a circle. In the center was a makeshift town square where an old well was constructed. This must have been their only source of water because from what I could tell, this planet definitely didn’t have any lakes or rivers.

 

I instructed BB-8 to stay by the ship while I walked off towards the little village. A few heads turned my direction as I passed them, but as soon as I made eye contact with any of them, they turned away immediately. Talk about stranger danger. I was just wondering how I would know which one was Lor San Tekka when an old man stepped out from the shadows.

 

“I presume it is I who you are searching for,” he said mysteriously. “Come.”

 

He beckoned me forwards into his shabby hut. I was hesitant, but he had a kind face. I figured I could take him in a fight if things got out of hand. I entered his hut to find that he was already seated. He gestured for me to take a seat in front of him.

 

“Hello sir,” I began. “My name is Poe Damero—“ I began but was cut off.

 

“I know who you are, and why you’ve come,” he said. “I have been awaiting your arrival for a while yet.”

 

“If you know why I’m here, why haven’t you tried to get in contact with the Resistance before now?” I asked confused.

 

“Oh but I have,” he said with a small smile. “But young Elly seems to be just as stubborn as the last time I met her.”

 

“You mean...” I began.

 

“Yes, it was I that showed her my location. I’ve been trying to show her for quite some time now, but she is quite difficult as I’m sure you know,” he said knowingly.

 

“Yeah, I do know,” I agreed with a grin. “So what is it you want from us?”

 

“I have something…a piece of a map that will lead to Luke Skywalker,” he said, withdrawing a small leather sack from within his robes. “I’ve been holding onto this for many years…waiting for the right time. I had hoped that Luke would return of his own accord, but I fear that will not happen. Not in time at least.”

 

He placed the sack into my hand.

 

“This will begin to make things right,” he said solemnly. “I’ve traveled too far, and seen too much to ignore the despair in the galaxy any longer. Without the Jedi, there can be no balance in the Force.”

 

“Well because of you we now have a chance,” I said closing my hand around the sack. “The General’s been after this for a long time.”

 

“The General,” Tekka said with a soft chuckle. “To me she is royalty.”

 

“Well she certainly is that,” I agreed with a smile.

 

Suddenly, BB-8 stormed in beeping frantically. Of course this mission wouldn’t go as smoothly as I hoped.

 

“We’ve got company,” I told the old man.

 

Tekka and I exited the hut to see several lights in the sky’s horizon. I took out a pair of quadnoculars from inside my jacket and searched the area quickly.

 

“Shit,” I hissed. “It’s the First Order. You have to hide.”

 

“And you have to leave,” the old man ordered me. “Go!”

 

I wanted to stay and help the poor village, but I knew what the implications were if this map were to fall into enemy hands. The entire galaxy would suffer. I nodded and took off running towards my ship. As I ran I noticed several of the villagers arming themselves. There was no way these people could withstand the First Order, not with their shabby weapons, but I admired their spirit.

 

I made it to my ship right as a huge transporter landed in the village.

 

“Come on BB-8! Hurry!” I called as I loaded him into his compartment in the X-wing.

 

I strapped myself into the cockpit and began turning on the necessary switches, hurrying the engines as fast as I could. The engines were nearly ready to take off when suddenly a blast rocked through the ship. BB-8 called frantically to me.

 

“I see ‘em!” I called back.

 

I grabbed the controls and fired back using the antipersonnel blasters. The two stormtroopers were blown back about 50 feet. I cheered to myself, and then tried the engines again. Unfortunately, they sputtered weakly before shutting off altogether.

 

“Damnit!” I cursed, hopping out of the ship.

 

I ran around back to the control panel only to see the ship had taken irreparable damage. I thought through my options quickly and came to only one conclusion in which the First Order wouldn’t get the map. I ran back up to the cockpit and released the clutch that held BB-8 in place. He beeped curiously up at me and I kneeled.

 

“You take this,” I commanded, holding up the little data stick that held the map. “It’s safer with you than it is with me. You get as far away from here as you can. Do you hear me?”

 

BB-8 beeped back, anxious and scared.

 

“I know buddy, I know. But I’ll come back for you! It will be alright, okay?”

 

He beeped back, and I took it as a sign of confidence.

 

I turned and ran back towards the village, eager to help in any way I could. I took out my blaster rifle that was strapped to my back and began firing at nearby troopers. I was doing pretty good, until a sinister shuttlecraft exited and the dark imposing figure of Kylo Ren exited. That was probably the moment I knew I was in real trouble.

 

I watched as he ignited his lightsaber and cut through Lor San Tekka.

 

“NO!” I cried, blasting my rifle towards the figure.

 

He threw out a hand and stopped the blaster bolt in midair. Kylo Ren spotted me and suddenly, I couldn’t move my body. I knew he was using the Force on me, but I had never felt it being used this way. A couple of stormtroopers grabbed me and drug me before the tall figure. One stormtrooper kicked out my legs and I landed hard on my knees. Kylo Ren knelt before me, looking menacing in his face mask.

 

We looked at each other for a long moment, sizing each other up. I could hardly believe that this creature used to be Elly’s best friend. Finally, I couldn’t stand the tense silence.

 

“So who talks first? You talk first?” I asked.

 

“The old man gave it to you,” he said, his voice distorted through his mask.

 

“I’m sorry it’s just very hard to understand you through all the apparatus,” I said gesturing to his helmet.

 

“Search him,” Kylo Ren barked.

 

The stormtroopers restraining me searched through my pants and jacket, finding nothing except my quadnoculars.

 

“Nothing sir,” the trooper declared.

 

“Bring him on board,” Kylo Ren commanded and I was immediately drug towards the transport ship.

 

Elly was going to be so pissed.

 

 

 

Elly’s POV

 

“What do you think you are doing?” the voice of Leia asked me.

 

I was currently doing a preflight check on an old X-wing, preparing to take off.

 

“What does it look like?” I answered distractedly. “I’m going after him.”

 

“And what? You’re going to just take down the entire First Order army on your own?” she asked with a scoff.

 

“If I have to, then yes,” I said, my attention on the ship.

 

“Elly, enough of this,” she said sternly.

 

“NO! I am not leaving him to die!” I shouted. She looked surprised that I would yell at her but at that moment I didn’t care. “I warned him! I warned you! I knew this was going to happen! No one listened and now they have him!”

 

Tears were falling steadily down my face and I knew I looked a mess, but at the moment I didn’t care. All I cared about was finding Poe and bringing him back to safety.

 

“Elly, do you really think I’d just leave Poe to die?” Leia asked me with wide eyes. “Do you honestly think I care so little about him?”

 

I didn’t have an answer. Instead, I fell to my knees on the hangar sobbing openly. Leia knelt down beside me and rubbed my back soothingly.

 

“It will be alright,” she promised. “We will form a plan to get him back, but Elly that’s going to take some time and some planning. We can’t just go rushing off, guns blazing at the First Order.”

 

“You know just as well as I what the First Order can do to a prisoner in the matter of a couple of days,” I said, looking into her eyes.

 

“Poe can handle it. He’s stronger than even he knows,” she said. “I know he can handle himself. He’s probably talking his way out of it as we speak.”

 

I let out a sort of anguished chuckle. I knew she was right, but too much had happened in such a small amount of time. It felt like I was going to explode with all the emotions I was feeling.

 

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.

 

Leia’s eyes widened in surprise and she didn’t move for a long minute. Suddenly, she embraced me and I returned the hug, unable to stifle the tears that fell onto her shoulder.

 

“Oh, my dear Elly,” she said softly. “Does Poe know?”

 

“No,” I sobbed. “I just found out after he left.”

 

“When he gets back, you have to tell him,” Leia said. “He needs to know.”

 

“If he comes back,” I said.

 

“He will come back,” Leia said sternly, looking into my eyes. “I will do everything in my power to make it happen, but you have to hold onto hope. Hope is what will get us and him through this.”

 

I nodded, knowing she was right.

 

_I’ll always, ALWAYS come back to you. I promise._

Poe’s words echoed in my mind. I held onto that promise with everything I had. I just prayed that Poe would too.


	21. Intimidated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you all again for the comments and reviews I get. I really do looooove reading your input!
> 
> This chapter is entirely in Poe's POV and its mostly what happens during the movie. Sorry, but I felt like it needed to be included. I really like writing from Poe's POV. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Poe’s POV

 

Though they were the scourge of the galaxy, I had to admit to myself the First Order’s star destroyer was impressive to say the least. I didn’t think I had ever been inside a star destroyer as massive as this.

 

Immediately after capture, I was shackled at the wrists and lead from the transport ship to the star destroyer that was circling overhead Jakku. They stuck me in a holding cell where they strapped me to a metal chair.

 

Then the real fun began. Several large stormtroopers came in and out of my cell, each with a new torture in store for me. I was beaten for hours and hours as they asked me the same question.

 

“Where is the map to Skywalker!?”

 

Of course I would never tell them. I refused to utter a single word, which only served to piss them off further. My lip was busted, I had a black eye, a couple of my ribs were surely broken, and there was sure to be over a dozen bruises littering my body.

 

Finally, they left me alone in my little cell and I was able to breathe. I knew there was no getting out of this one. I was on the First Order’s star destroyer. Even I couldn’t possibly escape this time, especially when I was strapped to this chair with no hope of squeezing out. My head rolled forwards and my thoughts turned to Elly.

 

She was going to be so devastated when she heard the news of my death. I was sure the First Order would parade the information across the galaxy. They captured and killed the Resistance’s best pilot…that was one kill for their books. A hell of a morale booster. Word would spread fast.

 

I mentally kicked myself. Elly had warned me not to go. She had seen it. But of course I had to be stubborn and play the hero. And now I would never see her again. I’d never touch her again.

  
I should have married her when I had the chance.

 

A few tears escaped my eyes, and I was thankful I was alone. I hastily wiped them off as best as I could on my shoulders. I wished I was Force sensitive. I wished I could somehow get a message to her. Just to tell her I love her and I was so so sorry I had to break my promise.

 

The door opened suddenly, and the last person I ever wanted to see strode into the room. Kylo Ren took a seat across from me.

 

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board,” he said through that stupid mask. “Comfortable?”

“Not really,” I sneered. “Far from luxurious accommodations here.”

 

“I’m impressed,” he said as if he hadn’t heard me. “No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.”

 

“Might wanna rethink your technique,” I said airily. “Those goons of yours aren’t nearly as intimidating as they think they are.”

 

Ren studied me for a moment, his masked head cocked to one side. Suddenly, he shot a hand out towards my face and I felt an unbelievable force pressing down against my skull. It felt as if my head were going to explode with the pressure.

 

“Where is it?” he asked slowly.

 

I gritted my teeth, not willing to let myself scream in front of this monster.

 

“The Resistance…will not be…intimidated by you,” I managed to say through gritted teeth.

 

Suddenly the pressure intensified.

  
“Where…is it?” Kylo Ren asked again.

 

It was too much. I let out a scream as I felt my skull split open and all my secrets came tumbling out. I saw flashes of the Resistance base, images of Jakku, my conversation with Lor San Tekka…giving the data stick to BB-8…. Everything came tumbling out and there was no way for me to stop it.

  
Elly swam to the front of my mind, and for the first time I saw Ren flinch. I saw her smiling and happy, lying in bed with me, whispering to me in the dark. I saw her using the force to mess my hair up. I saw myself picking her up and throwing her on our bed. I saw her moaning underneath me.

 

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I cried out.

 

Whether it was me that forced him out or if it was he that had decided he saw enough, I’m not sure. But finally he was out of my mind and the pain had gone.

 

“So…not only are you the best pilot in the Resistance, but you’ve seemed to capture the heart of one of the last remaining Jedi. I should have killed her when I had the chance,” Ren muttered more to himself than to me.

 

“Why didn’t you?” I asked through heavy frantic breaths.

 

He ignored me and turned to leave the room. Just before he left, he turned back to me and spoke again.

 

“I’ll be sure to send her a piece of you, once you’re executed. It’s the least I can do,” he said cruelly, and with that he was gone.

 

My head fell forwards and I let unconsciousness take me, glad for once that I wouldn’t have to feel for much longer.

 

It didn’t last long enough, the little sleep I had fallen into. Soon, I was being roused awake by another storm trooper. He unstrapped me from the chair and I guessed I knew where he was taking me. It was time for my journey to end.

 

He led me down a narrow hallway, and suddenly shoved me into a little hutch that looked about as wide as a broom closet.

 

“Wha—“ I began but the trooper shushed me.

 

“Listen carefully,” he said frantically. “You do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here.”

 

“If…..what?” I asked shocked.

 

He pulled off his helmet and revealed a young face with wide panicked eyes.

 

“This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE fighter?” he asked desperately.

 

“Are you with the Resistance?” I asked, though I hadn’t seen his face around base before.

 

“What?” he asked. “No! No no no, I’m breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

 

“I can fly anything,” I told him. “Why are you helping me?”

 

“Because,” he said valiantly. “It’s the right thing to do.”

 

I studied his expression through narrowed eyes. It suddenly hit me.

 

“You need a pilot,” I guessed.

 

“I need a pilot,” he admitted.

 

A slow smile spread across my face. There was a chance I could get out of here. There was a chance I could see Elly again.

 

“We’re gonna do this,” I said.

 

“….Yeah?” the stormtrooper agreed half heartedly.

 

We decided the easiest way to get to the hangar is if it looked like he was escorting me. We put the shackles back on my wrists and I wore a solemn expression. We passed a group of Stormtroopes and I felt his grip tighten around my arm.

 

“Stay calm, stay calm,” he said under his breath.

 

“I am calm,” I replied.

 

“I’m talking to myself,” he said hurridly.

 

_Great. I had to get the Stormtrooper with self confidence issues. Still…I’ll take what I can get at this point._

I followed the Trooper towards the back wall and up some stairs to a two man Special Forces Tie fighter. We loaded in and I quickly shrugged off my jacket and cuffs. The trooper took off his helmet and we sat back to back inside the small cockpit.

 

“I always wanted to fly one of these,” I said appreciatively, glancing around at the controls. I couldn’t wait to tell Elly about this. “Can you shoot?”

 

“Blasters, I can!” he cried.

 

“Okay same principle,” I tried to explain kindly, yet hurriedly. “Use the toggle on the left to switch between missiles, cannons, and mag pulse. Use the site on the right to aim, triggers to fire.”

 

“This is very complicated,” I heard him mutter.

 

I ignored him and got ready to disembark the hangar. I moved the controls forwards but there was a sudden lurch and we were jolted backwards.

 

“I can fix this!” I called.

 

Unfortunately we got the attention of the rest of the fleet. Stormtroopers began firing their blasters towards us. Pilots began scrambling towards their ships. I lurched the ship forwards and broke the tether that attached us to the hangar.

 

We left the ship and took off into open space. The TIE flew like a dream. Faster than I had anticipated. I’ll admit I was enjoying myself a bit.

 

“Woaah! This thing really moves!” I called with a slight grin on my face. “All right we gotta take out as many cannons as we can or we’re not gonna get very far!”

 

“Alright!” the trooper called back.

 

“I’m gonna get us in position just stay sharp!” I said.

 

I flew us around the levels of the ship before I flipped us and flew down and back along the massive ships belly. All the while other TIEs were on our tail.

 

“Up ahead! Up ahead! Do you see it? I’ve got us dead centered. It’s a clean shot!” I called to my copilot.

 

“Okay, got it!” he cried uncertainly.

 

I flew us towards the cannons and the trooper fired. Surprisingly he hit the cannons dead on and they blew up in a shower of debris. Inside the cockpit we both cheered.

 

“YES!” the trooper exclaimed. “You see that?! Did you see that!?!”

 

“I saw it!” I laughed. “Hey, what’s your name?”

 

“FN-2187,” he told me.

 

“FN-what??” I asked.

 

“That’s the only name they ever gave me,” he explained.

 

“Well I ain’t using it,” I told him. I wasn’t about to use the serial number they created for him. Nah, he was a person and he needed a name. “FN, huh? Well I’m gonna call you Finn! That alright?”

 

“Finn? Yeah!” he called out happily. “Finn. I like that!”

 

“I’m Poe. Poe Dameron,” I told him.

 

“Good to meet you Poe!” he called.

 

“Good to meet you too Finn!” I replied, and I knew somehow we were both smiling.

 

A minute later, the star destroyer used it’s ventral cannons on us but I was able to maneuver around the hit. I turned the ship sharply, heading back towards the desert planet I left BB-8 on.

 

“One’s coming towards you,” I warned Finn. “My right, your left. Do you see it?”

 

“Hold on! I see it!” he called.

 

I watched him blast it out of the air and he cheered happily. He noticed I wasn’t headed for open space.

 

“Hold on. Where are you going?” he asked in alarm.

 

“We’re going back to Jakku, that’s where,” I told him.

 

“No no no!” he exclaimed. “We can’t go back to Jakku! We need to get outta this system!”

 

“I got to get my droid before the First Order does!” I told him.

 

“What…a droid?!” he cried exasperatedly.

 

“That’s right! He’s a BB unit, orange and white. One of a kind!” I said.

 

“I don’t care what color he is! No droid could be that important!” he said angrily.

 

“This one is pal,” I said.

 

“We need to get as far away from the First Order as we can! We go back to Jakku, we die!” he said, and he sounded scared out of his mind. I wondered briefly what they had done to him.

 

“That droid has a map that leads straight to Luke Skywalker!” I told him.

 

“Oh you gotta be kidding me!” he exclaimed.

 

I opened my mouth to reply, but suddenly we were hit. Quite critically too. I grabbed the control and tried to steady the ship but we were careening out of the air towards the surface of Jakku. I was able to pull us up just a bit as we slammed into the sand but my head hit something hard. I felt myself flying through the air and my vision went black.


End file.
